Crap Towns / Nottinghamshire / Kirkby-in-Ashfield
Kirkby-in-Ashfield
74/100Crap Score
258th crappest of 984 towns, and 7th in Nottinghamshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
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Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Open Monday. Shut by Friday.
Shops open, shops shut. What's left is barbers, takeaways and vape shops.
Kirkby-in-Ashfield was pits and railway junctions. Now the high street is takeaways, barbers, charity shops and vape shops, and anything new shuts before you've noticed it opened. The kids have nothing to do and hang round the centre doing it.
The takeaways are the only shops that last, and the ones scoring 0 to 2 on hygiene run at 4.4 times the typical town's share. The fire brigade gets called to deliberate fires at 2.7 times the typical town's rate and climbing. There's a new leisure centre with a pool. It's still open.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Kirkby-in-Ashfield's 93 for food hygiene means it's crapper than 93% of towns.
- Food hygiene93/1009.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 111 food businesses with a rating
- Deliberate fires83/10015.3 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Criminal damage and arson79/1009.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Anti-social behaviour78/10021.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Air pollution78/1009.8 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.4 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Sewage spills52/100305 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Rain52/100129 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Serious road collisions42/1002.2 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Fly-tipping37/1008.6 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Ashfield council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Broadband12/1003.3% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 3.0% across the Ashfield council area
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 3 | Mansfield | 93 |
| 4 | Sutton in Ashfield | 90 |
| 5 | Worksop | 78 |
| 6 | Clifton | 75 |
| 7 | Kirkby-in-Ashfield | 74 |
| 8 | Stapleford | 71 |
| 9 | Eastwood | 67 |
| 10 | Hucknall | 64 |
| 11 | Retford | 60 |
Kirkby-in-Ashfield by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 82.5 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 8% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 3 reports of abandoned vehicles on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 1.4 per 10,000 people, 1.6x the typical town's 0.9
- 2 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2021
What's left on the high street
- 7 pubs, 11 hairdressers, 5 charity shops, 2 bookmakers, 3 vape shops, 1 bank on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 17.7% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (3 of 17) Worse: 4.4x the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 banking hub opened here
- 3 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.4 per 10,000 people, 13% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 1 public swimming pool open Worse: 0.5 per 10,000 people, 29% lower than the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.39am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.9% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 1.8x the typical town's 0.5%
- 10.9% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 30% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,472 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Ashfield council
- £2,609 Band D council tax (2026-27) Worse: £217 more than the English average
- 19% of Nottinghamshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 19% higher than England's 16%
- None ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Kirkby-in-Ashfield against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.