Crap Towns / Nottinghamshire / Annesley Woodhouse
Annesley Woodhouse
64/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 64. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
The quarry got done up. We didn't.
Old pit village. They made the quarry a nature reserve. Nobody's bothered with the village.
Annesley Woodhouse is the bit stuck on the end of Kirkby. They turned the old quarry into a nature reserve, which is more than anyone's done for the village. No public park on the map. No pool. Plenty of grass, mind, and the local firebugs have found it: deliberate fires here run at 1.8 times the typical town's rate, and climbing.
Byron Road gets driven like a racetrack, and the serious crash rate is nearly half as much again as the typical town's, so the moaning about it is fair. Sewage comes out of the overflows nearby for more than three times as long as in the typical town too. Lovely.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Annesley Woodhouse's 80 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 80% of towns.
- Sewage spills80/100874 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Serious road collisions76/1003.5 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Air pollution74/1009.6 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.3 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Deliberate fires70/10010.0 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Food hygiene58/1004.2% rated 0 to 2, of the 24 food businesses with a rating
- Rain57/100132 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Anti-social behaviour44/10014.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Criminal damage and arson39/1006.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping37/1008.6 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Ashfield council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Broadband14/1003.6% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 3.0% across the Ashfield council area
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 6 | Clifton | 75 |
| 7 | Kirkby-in-Ashfield | 74 |
| 8 | Stapleford | 71 |
| 9 | Eastwood | 67 |
| – | Annesley Woodhouse | 64 |
| 10 | Hucknall | 64 |
| 11 | Retford | 60 |
| 12 | Forest Town | 55 |
| 13 | Mansfield Woodhouse | 55 |
Annesley Woodhouse by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 57.0 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 25% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 1 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 1.6 per 10,000 people, 53% lower than the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 4 pubs, 4 hairdressers on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.28am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.9% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 1.8x the typical town's 0.5%
- 9.0% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space, and OS maps no public park here Better: 42% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,482 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Ashfield council
- £2,609 Band D council tax (2026-27) Worse: £217 more than the English average
- 19% of Nottinghamshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 19% higher than England's 16%
- None ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Annesley Woodhouse against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.