Crap TownsBritain's towns, rated by the people stuck in them

Crap Towns / Nottinghamshire / Nuthall and Watnall

Welcome to

Nuthall and Watnall

Nothing happens. The weather station writes it down.
Twinned with a motorway through the middle

2/100Crap Score

Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 2. Higher scores are crapper.

How the score works

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Crap Town of the Year 2026/27

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Letters from the locals

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Cut in half by the M1

The M1 runs straight through it. Then the Christmas lights traffic turns up.

Nuthall has the M1 running straight through the middle and still manages to be annoyingly respectable. Crime is about half the typical town's, nothing spills into the brooks, and the worst offence most years is parking on the verge to gawp at the Christmas lights on Laurel Crescent.

Watnall has a weather station, and an old RAF bunker underneath, so it's ready for anything except excitement. The catch is the air. Nitrogen dioxide is 48% higher than the typical town's, thanks to the motorway they cut the village in half for. Per head it has 3.3 times the typical town's Greggs. It has one.

The editor, sat at the crossroads

What the score is made of

Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.

Nuthall and Watnall's 87 for air pollution means it's crapper than 87% of towns.

  • Air pollution87/10012.0 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.6 of fine particles, 2024 average
  • Deliberate fires61/1007.2 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
  • Food hygiene35/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 20 food businesses with a rating
  • Rain33/100121 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
  • Fly-tipping23/1006.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Broxtowe council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
  • Criminal damage and arson18/1004.8 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
  • Anti-social behaviour10/1008.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
  • Serious road collisions9/1001.0 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
  • Broadband3/1000.8% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 4.3% across the Broxtowe council area
  • Sewage spills2/1000.0 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
Your patch: NottinghamshireTowns in the same county. Top of the table is crappest.
PosTownNationalScore
13Mansfield Woodhouse446th55
14Balderton450th54
15New Ollerton and Ollerton451st54
16Beeston642nd35
17West Bridgford658th33
18Arnold735th25
19Carlton739th25
20Bingham823rd16
–Nuthall and Watnall–2

Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.

Nuthall and Watnall by numbers

Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.

Crime, muck and dodgy water

What's left on the high street

Getting about, getting online, getting rained on

Broxtowe council

Have a crap-off

Nuthall and Watnall against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.

Nuthall and WatnallCrap Score 2
v
NottinghamCrap Score 93

Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.