Crap Towns / Nottinghamshire / Beeston
Beeston
35/100Crap Score
People from here are Beestonians.
642nd crappest of 984 towns, and 16th in Nottinghamshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Beeston? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Who paid for that?
The council bought a big sculpture. The pigeons sit on it. Everyone else moans about it.
Beeston spent a fortune on a giant sculpture called Water Head and the town's moaned about it ever since. The pigeons love it, mind. There are bees painted on half the walls and a beekeeper statue on the High Road, in case you missed the theme.
What there isn't is much park. Public parks per head come to about a third of the typical town's. Barclays, Halifax, Lloyds and NatWest have all announced they're off since 2022. There are 53 hairdressers, though, and the shoplifting is well above the typical town's, so something on the High Road is doing a roaring trade. Broxtowe charges £2,618 a year on a Band D home for all this.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Beeston's 84 for air pollution means it's crapper than 84% of towns.
- Air pollution84/10012.2 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.3 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Sewage spills59/100401 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Deliberate fires54/1006.0 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Anti-social behaviour49/10015.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Food hygiene41/1002.1% rated 0 to 2, of the 280 food businesses with a rating
- Serious road collisions37/1002.1 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Rain36/100123 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Broadband35/1007.0% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 4.3% across the Broxtowe council area
- Criminal damage and arson28/1005.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping23/1006.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Broxtowe council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 12 | Forest Town | 55 |
| 13 | Mansfield Woodhouse | 55 |
| 14 | Balderton | 54 |
| 15 | New Ollerton and Ollerton | 54 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.16 | Beeston | 35 |
| 17 | West Bridgford | 33 |
| 18 | Arnold | 25 |
| 19 | Carlton | 25 |
| 20 | Bingham | 16 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Beeston by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 66.0 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 13% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 29 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 5.5 per 10,000 people, 1.6x the typical town's 3.4
- 6 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2024
What's left on the high street
- 23 pubs, 53 hairdressers, 14 charity shops, 3 bookmakers, 1 vape shop, 4 banks, 3 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 8.3% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (3 of 36) Worse: 2.1x the typical town's 4.0%
- 4 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 7.6 per 100,000 people, 2.2x the typical town's 3.4
- 8 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.5 per 10,000 people, 6% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 4 public swimming pools open Better: 0.8 per 10,000 people, 14% higher than the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- All night buses on a Wednesday Better: The typical town's last bus goes at 12.14am
- 0.6% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 20% higher than the typical town's 0.5%
- 29.5% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 1.9x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,489 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Broxtowe council
- £2,618 Band D council tax (2026-27) Worse: £226 more than the English average
- 19% of Nottinghamshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 19% higher than England's 16%
- None ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Beeston against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.