Dog shit and dodgy kitchens

Balderton's the bit stuck on Newark that even Newark doesn't want. The pavements are dog shit, the lake in the old gravel pits has litter all round the edge, and 4 of the 42 food places with a rating score 0 to 2. That's four times the typical town's share. There's a nice walk on the old railway line. Use it to leave.

It barely rains here, 110 days a year, so there's no weather to blame for how grubby it looks. Newark and Sherwood still charges £2,682 for a Band D home, well over England's average. Both public pools have shut since 2010, and after 7pm the buses more or less give up. Some bright spark's passing the time setting fire to the bins, and there's more of it every year.

The editor, still scraping a shoe