Crap Towns / Buckinghamshire / Iver Heath
Iver Heath
25/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 25. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Bond's next door. So are the lorries.
The film studios are lovely. The lorries going in and out of them aren't.
Iver Heath is next to the film studios, and Black Park turns up in Bond and Carry On films. What locals actually see is the studio traffic. Big lorries rattle down village roads all day and you can't park by the Co-op. Nobody misbehaves. Except the lorry drivers.
There's 1.6 times the typical town's nitrogen dioxide in the air, so the lorries leave something behind. There's no public park, and over half the village lives more than 400 metres from a park or play space, with Black Park next door. The broadband's worse: 4.1% of homes and businesses are stuck without superfast, over eight times the typical town's share.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Iver Heath's 93 for broadband means it's crapper than 93% of towns.
- Broadband93/10023.6% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 18.0% across the Buckinghamshire council area
- Air pollution91/10013.3 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.8 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Deliberate fires65/1008.5 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Food hygiene60/1005.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 20 food businesses with a rating
- Serious road collisions43/1002.2 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson34/1005.8 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping27/1007.1 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Buckinghamshire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Rain21/100118 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Anti-social behaviour14/1006.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Sewage spills2/1000.0 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 2 | Bletchley | 42 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.3 | Chesham | 39 |
| 4 | Milton Keynes | 36 |
| 5 | Amersham | 34 |
| – | Iver Heath | 25 |
| 6 | Newport Pagnell | 19 |
| 7 | Flackwell Heath and Wooburn Green | 13 |
| 8 | Aylesbury | 10 |
| 9 | Buckingham | 8 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Iver Heath by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 49.8 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 35% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 110 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 214 per 10,000 people, 62.9x the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 4 pubs, 1 hairdresser on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) Better: 1.9 per 10,000 people, 19% higher than the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.56pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 4.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 8.2x the typical town's 0.5%
- 52.8% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space, and OS maps no public park here Worse: 3.4x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,668 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 9% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Buckinghamshire council
Have a crap-off
Iver Heath against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.