Crap Towns / Buckinghamshire / Bletchley
Bletchley
42/100Crap Score
573rd crappest of 984 towns, and 2nd in Buckinghamshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Bletchley? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Won the war, lost the shops.
Bletchley Park is world famous. Bletchley town centre is a bookies and a To Let sign.
Bletchley Park cracked the Nazi codes and helped win the war. Down the road, Bletchley town centre can't keep a shop open. The Brunel Centre's knackered and the units keep emptying. Locals call it going into town. Milton Keynes is the city up the road, and you can keep that too.
What's left is bookies and Greggs, both at more than twice the typical town's per head. Barclays, Halifax, Lloyds and NatWest have all shut a branch. 16 serious pollution incidents have been logged in or round the place since 2016, and some knobhead keeps torching the bins.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Bletchley's 74 for fly-tipping means it's crapper than 74% of towns.
- Fly-tipping74/10015.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Milton Keynes council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Food hygiene67/1003.3% rated 0 to 2, of the 274 food businesses with a rating
- Deliberate fires65/1008.1 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Air pollution64/1008.7 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.1 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Criminal damage and arson62/1008.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Anti-social behaviour57/10010.8 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Sewage spills26/10070.4 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Rain21/100118 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Broadband10/1002.6% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 3.6% across the Milton Keynes council area
- Serious road collisions8/1001.2 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | High Wycombe | 56 |
| 2 | Bletchley | 42 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.3 | Chesham | 39 |
| 4 | Milton Keynes | 36 |
| 5 | Amersham | 34 |
| 6 | Newport Pagnell | 19 |
| 7 | Flackwell Heath and Wooburn Green | 13 |
| 8 | Aylesbury | 10 |
| 9 | Buckingham | 8 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Bletchley by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 97.1 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 27% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 22 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 4.9 per 10,000 people, 44% higher than the typical town's 3.4
- 16 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2025
What's left on the high street
- 14 pubs, 20 hairdressers, 9 charity shops, 7 bookmakers, 5 banks, 3 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 6.7% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (3 of 45) Worse: 1.7x the typical town's 4.0%
- 4 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 8.9 per 100,000 people, 2.6x the typical town's 3.4
- 10 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.2 per 10,000 people, 38% higher than the typical town's 1.6
- 3 public swimming pools open; 1 closed for good since 2010 About the same: 0.7 per 10,000 people, about the same as the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 1.07am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.3% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 40% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 9.5% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 39% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,524 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Milton Keynes council
- £2,372 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £20 less than the English average
- 16% of Milton Keynes council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) About the same: About the same as England's 16%
- 36 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Bletchley against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.