Crap Towns / Berkshire / Slough
Slough
45/100Crap Score
Locals say Sluff. They call themselves Sluffers.
538th crappest of 984 towns, and the crappest in Berkshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Slough? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Exactly as you imagined.
A trading estate, a lot of data centres, a dying high street and kitchens to avoid.
Slough. Yeah. The Office, a massive trading estate and more data centres than anywhere else in Britain. The high street's dying, the town centre redevelopment never turns up, there's no nightlife and the kitchens are dodgier than most. People on the edge tell everyone they live in Burnham. Can you blame them?
There are 24 pubs and 24 bookies. Nobody planned that, but it says a lot. Cars get broken into at over twice the typical town's rate, the air's grim, and the council recycles 27.4% of the rubbish, well under England's average. There's no bus after 2.46am, so at least you can leave in the middle of the night.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Slough's 92 for air pollution means it's crapper than 92% of towns.
- Air pollution92/10013.2 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.8 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Food hygiene91/1005.6% rated 0 to 2, of the 683 food businesses with a rating
- Fly-tipping61/10011.6 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Slough council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Criminal damage and arson59/1007.7 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Anti-social behaviour47/1009.9 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires38/100
- Serious road collisions35/1002.0 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Sewage spills19/10036.5 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Broadband10/1003.0% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 3.1% across the Slough council area
- Rain10/100113 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Slough | 45 |
| 2 | Reading | 44 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.3 | Newbury | 37 |
| 4 | Ascot | 22 |
| 5 | Windsor | 21 |
| 6 | Thatcham | 17 |
| 7 | Bracknell | 7 |
| 8 | Maidenhead | 6 |
| 9 | Wokingham | 5 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Slough by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 95.0 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 25% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 384 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 23.0 per 10,000 people, 6.8x the typical town's 3.4
- 6 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2026
What's left on the high street
- 24 pubs, 53 hairdressers, 8 charity shops, 24 bookmakers, 3 vape shops, 7 banks, 5 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 6.6% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (8 of 121) Worse: 1.7x the typical town's 4.0%
- 4 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Better: 2.4 per 100,000 people, 29% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 17 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.0 per 10,000 people, 38% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 8 public swimming pools open; 4 closed for good since 2010 Worse: 0.5 per 10,000 people, 29% lower than the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 2.46am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.3% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 40% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 13.8% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 11% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,651 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 8% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Slough council
Have a crap-off
Slough against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.