Crap Towns / Berkshire / Windsor
Windsor
21/100Crap Score
780th crappest of 984 towns, and 5th in Berkshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Windsor? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
There's a castle. We know.
A castle, a long walk, a theme park and Heathrow planes going over all day.
Windsor's got a castle you might have heard of, and every tourist on earth stops dead in the street to photograph it. The shops sell tea towels with the castle on. The Heathrow planes roar over all day and the roads round the castle and Legoland jam solid. Lovely for a visit. Wouldn't live there.
Keep a hand on your phone. Theft from the person runs at over seven times the typical town's rate, and bikes go at over four times. The council tax is £1,953 for a Band D, well under England's average, and that's the one thing in Windsor that isn't a rip-off.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Windsor's 84 for broadband means it's crapper than 84% of towns.
- Broadband84/10016.0% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 14.2% across the Windsor and Maidenhead council area
- Air pollution83/10011.2 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.4 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Food hygiene59/1002.9% rated 0 to 2, of the 315 food businesses with a rating
- Anti-social behaviour42/1009.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires41/100
- Criminal damage and arson39/1006.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping37/1008.8 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Windsor and Maidenhead council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Serious road collisions11/1001.3 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Rain8/100113 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Sewage spills2/1000.0 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Slough | 45 |
| 2 | Reading | 44 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.3 | Newbury | 37 |
| 4 | Ascot | 22 |
| 5 | Windsor | 21 |
| 6 | Thatcham | 17 |
| 7 | Bracknell | 7 |
| 8 | Maidenhead | 6 |
| 9 | Wokingham | 5 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Windsor by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 83.7 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 10% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 85 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 26.9 per 10,000 people, 7.9x the typical town's 3.4
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2019
What's left on the high street
- 26 pubs, 15 hairdressers, 7 charity shops, 5 bookmakers, 2 vape shops, 2 banks, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 5.6% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (1 of 18) Worse: 40% higher than the typical town's 4.0%
- 4 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 12.7 per 100,000 people, 3.7x the typical town's 3.4
- 13 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 4.1 per 10,000 people, 2.6x the typical town's 1.6
- 2 public swimming pools open Worse: 0.6 per 10,000 people, 14% lower than the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.53am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 3.0% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 6x the typical town's 0.5%
- 7.5% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 52% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,663 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 9% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Windsor and Maidenhead council
- £1,953 Band D council tax (2026-27) Better: £439 less than the English average
- 2% of Windsor and Maidenhead council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 88% lower than England's 16%
- 12 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Windsor against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.