Crap Towns / Derbyshire / Clay Cross
Clay Cross
74/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 74. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Clay Cross. Go via Alfreton.
Locals reckon the Tesco in Alfreton is quicker to get to than the one in town. They're right.
Clay Cross has been dug up for regeneration and it's a fucking mess. Temporary lights, closures on top of closures, and a leisure centre that opened late. Locals reckon the Tesco in Alfreton is quicker to get to than their own, and they've timed it. The town centre they're regenerating has made the Heritage at Risk register, which tells you how it was doing before the diggers turned up.
What's left of the High Street is vape shops, bookies, charity shops and hairdressers, with vape shops at more than 11 times the typical town's rate per head. Underneath it the storm overflows spill at nearly 13 times the typical town's rate. The town's only here because they found coal digging the railway tunnel. They've found something else down there since, and it isn't coal.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Clay Cross's 98 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 98% of towns.
- Sewage spills98/1003,448 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour86/10023.9 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions81/1003.7 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson74/1009.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires61/1007.3 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Rain61/100134 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Broadband56/1007.6% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 12.1% across the North East Derbyshire council area
- Air pollution51/1007.7 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.9 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Fly-tipping20/1006.2 incidents per 1,000 people a year, North East Derbyshire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Food hygiene9/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 84 food businesses with a rating
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Derby | 87 |
| 2 | Bolsover | 76 |
| 3 | Chesterfield | 74 |
| – | Clay Cross | 74 |
| 4 | Heanor | 64 |
| 5 | Shirebrook | 62 |
| 6 | Staveley | 61 |
| 7 | Matlock | 59 |
| 8 | South Normanton and Pinxton | 50 |
Clay Cross by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 106 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 39% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 2 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2022
What's left on the high street
- 9 pubs, 12 hairdressers, 5 charity shops, 2 bookmakers, 3 vape shops, 1 bank on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (0 of 16) Better: Against the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 banking hub opened here
- 5 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 5.6 per 10,000 people, 3.5x the typical town's 1.6
- 2 public swimming pools open; 2 closed for good since 2010 Better: 2.2 per 10,000 people, 3.1x the typical English town's 0.7
- 1 place on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.41pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.6% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 20% higher than the typical town's 0.5%
- 12.4% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 20% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,507 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
North East Derbyshire council
- £2,467 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £75 more than the English average
- 15% of Derbyshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 6% lower than England's 16%
- None ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Clay Cross against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.