Crap Towns / Kent / Aylesham
Aylesham
13/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 13. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Roadworks, love. All the way in.
Planned pit village shaped like winding gear from the air. From the ground it's just roadworks.
Aylesham was built for the miners and laid out to look like pit winding gear from the sky. Who's looking from the sky? The pit's gone anyway. Now they're slapping new estates on, and the lorries building them are knackering roads that Kent hadn't fixed in the first place.
The new lot get superfast broadband, a park on the doorstep and 1 hairdresser. They don't get a bus. The last one goes at 7.36pm and there isn't one at all on a Sunday, so the planned village is planned round staying in.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Aylesham's 68 for broadband means it's crapper than 68% of towns.
- Broadband68/1007.0% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 19.7% across the Dover council area
- Food hygiene60/1004.8% rated 0 to 2, of the 21 food businesses with a rating
- Air pollution41/1006.8 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.8 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Rain40/100124 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Criminal damage and arson37/1006.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping33/1008.2 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Dover council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Anti-social behaviour32/10012.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires28/1003.8 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Serious road collisions12/1001.0 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Sewage spills2/1000.0 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 24 | Hythe | 44 |
| 25 | Tonbridge | 43 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.26 | Royal Tunbridge Wells | 39 |
| 27 | Larkfield | 38 |
| 28 | Deal | 36 |
| 29 | Herne | 32 |
| 30 | Sevenoaks | 27 |
| – | Aylesham | 13 |
| 31 | Longfield, New Ash Green and Hartley | 10 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Aylesham by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 59.7 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 22% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 1 reports of dog fouling on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2025
What's left on the high street
- 1 hairdresser on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 7.36pm last bus out on a Wednesday, and none on a Sunday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.0% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: Against the typical town's 0.5%
- 0.0% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: Against the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,787 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 17% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Dover council
Have a crap-off
Aylesham against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.