Crap Towns / South Yorkshire / Thurnscoe
Thurnscoe
78/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 78. Higher scores are crapper.
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Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
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Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Night bus? Not after last time.
Thurnscoe's evening buses keep getting attacked, so they don't always run.
Thurnscoe was a pit village and is split into a top end and a bottom end by the railway. The old colliery is now Phoenix Park, which is nice. The rest is vandalism, fly-tipping and idiots attacking the buses, so the evening service gets pulled and nobody can get anywhere. Idiots, the lot of them.
Everyone lives within 400 metres of a park, and the local yobs are setting fire to them. Deliberate fires run at nine and a half times the typical town's rate, the grass at about eleven, and burglary's two and a half times the typical town's. There's 2 pubs and no swimming pool. Top end or bottom end, it's all getting torched.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Thurnscoe's 98 for deliberate fires means it's crapper than 98% of towns.
- Deliberate fires98/10054.1 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Criminal damage and arson96/10014.9 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping83/10020.2 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Barnsley council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Serious road collisions68/1003.1 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Sewage spills66/100514 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Air pollution62/1008.5 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.1 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Food hygiene50/1002.6% rated 0 to 2, of the 39 food businesses with a rating
- Anti-social behaviour38/10013.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Broadband31/1003.9% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 8.7% across the Barnsley council area
- Rain16/100116 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 11 | Hoyland | 88 |
| 12 | Wath upon Dearne | 85 |
| 13 | Swallownest and Aston | 80 |
| 14 | Conisbrough | 79 |
| – | Thurnscoe | 78 |
| 15 | Royston | 78 |
| 16 | Dunscroft and Hatfield | 76 |
| 17 | Adwick le Street | 73 |
| 18 | Warmsworth | 70 |
Thurnscoe by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 101 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 33% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 3 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 About the same: 3.3 per 10,000 people, about the same as the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 2 pubs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
- 1 place on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.37pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- Under 0.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: Far lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 0.0% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: Against the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,519 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Barnsley council
Have a crap-off
Thurnscoe against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.