Crap Towns / South Yorkshire / Goldthorpe
Goldthorpe
89/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 89. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
No gold. Lots of rats.
Old pit village, boarded-up high street, and the rats are doing better than the shops.
Goldthorpe? The pit's long gone and most of the shops have followed. The high street is boarded up, the fly-tipping has brought the rats, and every time volunteers clean up, the vandals come straight back and wreck it. The telly crews love filming it. Locals would love them to piss off.
They'd have plenty to film. The firebugs are busy, at nearly nineteen times the typical town's rate, and bins and rubbish go up at about thirty-six times. Burglary's five times the typical town's. There's 1 pub. Pick your night carefully.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Goldthorpe's 99 for deliberate fires means it's crapper than 99% of towns.
- Deliberate fires99/100107 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Criminal damage and arson98/10018.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Sewage spills89/1001,450 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Fly-tipping83/10020.2 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Barnsley council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Air pollution70/1009.0 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.3 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Serious road collisions65/1002.9 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour58/10016.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Food hygiene58/1003.3% rated 0 to 2, of the 61 food businesses with a rating
- Broadband21/1002.3% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 8.7% across the Barnsley council area
- Rain18/100117 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 6 | Mexborough | 92 |
| 7 | Dinnington | 92 |
| 8 | Bentley | 91 |
| 9 | Wombwell | 91 |
| – | Goldthorpe | 89 |
| 10 | Doncaster | 88 |
| 11 | Hoyland | 88 |
| 12 | Wath upon Dearne | 85 |
| 13 | Swallownest and Aston | 80 |
Goldthorpe by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 132 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 1.7x the typical town's 76.2
- 6 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 8.0 per 10,000 people, 2.4x the typical town's 3.4
- 3 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2020
What's left on the high street
- 1 pub on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (0 of 15) Better: Against the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.3 per 10,000 people, 19% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 1 public swimming pool open Better: 1.3 per 10,000 people, 1.9x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.38pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.3% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 40% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 11.8% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 24% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,519 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Barnsley council
Have a crap-off
Goldthorpe against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.