Crap Towns / South Yorkshire / Swallownest and Aston
Swallownest and Aston
80/100Crap Score
202nd crappest of 984 towns, and 13th in South Yorkshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
The Swall-Siro's the only thing moving
The ground's the Swall-Siro. Away from the football, people keep setting fire to bins.
Swallownest calls its football ground the Swall-Siro, which is the best thing about the place. The crossroads is a permanent queue, people speed through the villages when it clears, and lads with loud exhausts rev their bikes all night. The buses are rubbish and more houses keep coming.
Somebody's setting the bins alight at seven and a half times the typical town's rate, which is one way of dealing with the fly-tipping. The overflows nearby dump sewage for over two and a half times the typical town's hours. Rother Valley's nice, if you can get past the crossroads.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Swallownest and Aston's 91 for deliberate fires means it's crapper than 91% of towns.
- Deliberate fires91/10024.2 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Fly-tipping84/10020.3 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Rotherham council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Air pollution80/10010.0 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.5 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Sewage spills74/100705 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Serious road collisions70/1003.1 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour63/10017.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Criminal damage and arson54/1007.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Food hygiene39/1001.6% rated 0 to 2, of the 62 food businesses with a rating
- Rain36/100122 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Broadband2/1001.1% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 3.3% across the Rotherham council area
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 9 | Wombwell | 91 |
| 10 | Doncaster | 88 |
| 11 | Hoyland | 88 |
| 12 | Wath upon Dearne | 85 |
| 13 | Swallownest and Aston | 80 |
| 14 | Conisbrough | 79 |
| 15 | Royston | 78 |
| 16 | Dunscroft and Hatfield | 76 |
| 17 | Adwick le Street | 73 |
Swallownest and Aston by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 64.8 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 15% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 23 reports of fly-tipping on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 15.4 per 10,000 people, 14x the typical town's 1.1
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2018
What's left on the high street
- 6 pubs, 6 hairdressers, 2 charity shops, 1 bookmaker, 1 vape shop, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (0 of 14) Better: Against the typical town's 4.0%
- 2 public swimming pools open Better: 1.3 per 10,000 people, 1.9x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.15am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 80% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 31.2% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 2x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,545 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Rotherham council
- £2,382 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £10 less than the English average
- 9% of Rotherham council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 44% lower than England's 16%
- 2 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Swallownest and Aston against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.