Crap Towns / Northumberland / Morpeth
Morpeth
57/100Crap Score
421st crappest of 984 towns, and 5th in Northumberland. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Morpeth? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Pricey lunch, nowhere to park.
Clock tower, bagpipe museum, dear restaurants and graffiti on the houses.
Morpeth thinks it's the posh bit of Northumberland. Clock tower, bells Berwick didn't want, a museum of bagpipes. Lunch costs a bomb, commuters and shoppers take all the parking, and the school run blocks the streets. Meanwhile someone's spraying graffiti on people's houses. Not that posh, then.
The Chantry lost its library and kept its bagpipe museum. That's Morpeth's priorities. Public order offences run at twice the typical town's rate, so the posh lunch crowd aren't the only ones out. Crude sewage has turned up in 2 serious pollution incidents round here, and the Wansbeck floods anyway. Ashington's still crapper, mind, and Morpeth never lets it forget.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Morpeth's 89 for criminal damage and arson means it's crapper than 89% of towns.
- Criminal damage and arson89/10011.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Broadband74/1009.5% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 17.9% across the Northumberland council area
- Sewage spills66/100505 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Deliberate fires65/1008.1 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Anti-social behaviour64/10017.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping63/10012.6 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Northumberland council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Rain52/100129 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Serious road collisions38/1002.1 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Food hygiene15/1000.8% rated 0 to 2, of the 124 food businesses with a rating
- Air pollution6/1004.4 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.0 of fine particles, 2024 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Blyth | 83 |
| 2 | Ashington | 61 |
| 3 | Prudhoe | 58 |
| 4 | Berwick-upon-Tweed | 58 |
| 5 | Morpeth | 57 |
| 6 | Bedlington | 56 |
| 7 | Hexham | 49 |
| 8 | Cramlington | 47 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.9 | Ponteland | 34 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Morpeth by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 96.8 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 27% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 232 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 161 per 10,000 people, 47.4x the typical town's 3.4
- 5 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2026
What's left on the high street
- 11 pubs, 11 hairdressers, 7 charity shops, 1 bookmaker, 2 vape shops, 6 banks, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (0 of 18) Better: Against the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Worse: 6.9 per 100,000 people, 2x the typical town's 3.4
- 1 library shut for good since 2010: Morpeth Chantry Library
- 8 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 5.5 per 10,000 people, 3.4x the typical town's 1.6
- 3 public swimming pools open; 1 closed for good since 2010 Better: 2.1 per 10,000 people, 3x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.20am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.7% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 40% higher than the typical town's 0.5%
- 15.5% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space About the same: About the same as the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,533 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Northumberland council
Have a crap-off
Morpeth against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.