Crap Towns / Northumberland / Berwick-upon-Tweed
Berwick-upon-Tweed
58/100Crap Score
Locals are Berwickers.
414th crappest of 984 towns, and 4th in Northumberland. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Berwick. Emptygate's that way.
Great walls, great bridge, and a high street that's charity shops, bookies and To Let.
Berwick's got proper old walls, a cracking railway bridge and a football team that plays in Scotland. Then there's Marygate, which locals call Emptygate: charity shop, bookies, vape shop, Greggs, To Let. Walk the walls and you get a lovely view of all of it.
There's 4 vape shops, ten times the typical town's per head, so the air on the ramparts is the cleanest thing in town. Barclays and Santander have gone, 3 conservation areas are officially at risk, and the overflows nearby dump sewage for five and a half times the typical town's hours. Sea's nice, mind.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Berwick-upon-Tweed's 90 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 90% of towns.
- Sewage spills90/1001,500 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Deliberate fires74/10010.7 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Anti-social behaviour69/10018.1 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Broadband69/1008.0% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 17.9% across the Northumberland council area
- Fly-tipping63/10012.6 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Northumberland council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Criminal damage and arson62/1008.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Food hygiene39/1002.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 154 food businesses with a rating
- Rain32/100121 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Serious road collisions19/1001.5 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Air pollution2/1003.5 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 4.4 of fine particles, 2024 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Blyth | 83 |
| 2 | Ashington | 61 |
| 3 | Prudhoe | 58 |
| 4 | Berwick-upon-Tweed | 58 |
| 5 | Morpeth | 57 |
| 6 | Bedlington | 56 |
| 7 | Hexham | 49 |
| 8 | Cramlington | 47 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.9 | Ponteland | 34 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Berwick-upon-Tweed by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 67.2 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 12% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 245 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 186 per 10,000 people, 54.7x the typical town's 3.4
- Good Spittal's bathing water rating, 2025
What's left on the high street
- 18 pubs, 15 hairdressers, 6 charity shops, 2 bookmakers, 4 vape shops, 4 banks, 2 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 7.1% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (1 of 14) Worse: 1.8x the typical town's 4.0%
- 2 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 15.2 per 100,000 people, 4.5x the typical town's 3.4
- 4 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 3.0 per 10,000 people, 1.9x the typical town's 1.6
- 2 public swimming pools open; 2 closed for good since 2010 Better: 1.5 per 10,000 people, 2.1x the typical English town's 0.7
- 4 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.28pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.3% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 40% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 12.3% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 21% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,546 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Northumberland council
Have a crap-off
Berwick-upon-Tweed against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.