Crap Towns / Lincolnshire / Long Sutton
Long Sutton
18/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 18. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Spalding gets the money.
A tidy Fenland market town with a canning factory and a grudge about Spalding.
Long Sutton is a tidy little Fenland town that grows veg and tins it. It's quiet and safe, and not one storm overflow nearby spilled from 2023 to 2025, which round here is practically a miracle.
So what does it do with itself? Gets its hair cut, by the look of it. Hairdressers come in at 2.9 times the typical town's rate per head, and there's a bookie and a fair few pubs for afterwards. No swimming pool, and the last bus is at 9.11pm. Spalding gets the investment. Long Sutton gets a trim.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Long Sutton's 82 for broadband means it's crapper than 82% of towns.
- Broadband82/10010.2% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 23.6% across the South Holland council area
- Fly-tipping81/10019.3 incidents per 1,000 people a year, South Holland council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Serious road collisions35/1001.9 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson30/1005.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Air pollution26/1004.7 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.8 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Food hygiene26/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 38 food businesses with a rating
- Anti-social behaviour24/10011.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Rain20/100117 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Deliberate fires17/1002.5 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Sewage spills2/1000.0 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 9 | Spalding | 64 |
| 10 | Grantham | 53 |
| 11 | Stamford | 46 |
| 12 | Sleaford | 45 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.13 | Humberston and New Waltham | 32 |
| 14 | Barton-upon-Humber | 32 |
| – | Long Sutton | 18 |
| 15 | Bourne | 15 |
| 16 | North Hykeham | 13 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Long Sutton by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 56.0 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 27% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 61 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 113 per 10,000 people, 33.2x the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 5 pubs, 7 hairdressers, 1 charity shop, 1 bookmaker, 1 bank on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) Better: 1.9 per 10,000 people, 19% higher than the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
- 2 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 9.11pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 2.2x the typical town's 0.5%
- 26.3% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 1.7x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,536 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
South Holland council
- £2,278 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £114 less than the English average
- 21% of Lincolnshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 31% higher than England's 16%
- None ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Long Sutton against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.