Crap Towns / Cheshire / Knutsford
Knutsford
14/100Crap Score
Locals call it Knutty.
844th crappest of 984 towns, and 18th in Cheshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Knutsford. Posh, and knows it.
Knutsford's got Tatton Park and coloured sand on the pavements. The river's got sewage.
Knutsford is posh Cheshire. Tatton Park, a May Day procession, coloured sand on the pavements of Top Street and Bottom Street, kitchens you can trust. No bother, no vandals. A Victorian novelist based a whole book on it, and it's been insufferable ever since.
The moans are parking, which you can't do, and traffic, which doesn't move. The banks have announced three branch closures since 2022, more than six times the typical town's rate, and the last bus out on a Wednesday goes at 8.03pm. And the river gets four times the typical town's spill hours, which is the only bit of Knutsford that isn't posh.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Knutsford's 85 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 85% of towns.
- Sewage spills85/1001,132 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Rain74/100150 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Broadband52/1004.7% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 16.3% across the Cheshire East council area
- Fly-tipping43/10010.0 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Cheshire East council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Air pollution41/1007.8 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.4 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Serious road collisions25/1001.7 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Deliberate fires12/1002.5 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Food hygiene9/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 83 food businesses with a rating
- Criminal damage and arson8/1003.8 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Anti-social behaviour5/1004.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 12 | Nantwich | 28 |
| 13 | Neston | 28 |
| 14 | Alsager | 22 |
| 15 | Lymm | 21 |
| 16 | Wilmslow | 21 |
| 17 | Poynton | 15 |
| 18 | Knutsford | 14 |
| 19 | Macclesfield | 12 |
| 20 | Davenham | 12 |
Knutsford by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 44.5 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 42% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 17 problems reported on FixMyStreet in the year to October 2026 Better: 12.8 per 10,000 people, 37% lower than the typical town's 20.4
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2018
What's left on the high street
- 13 pubs, 13 hairdressers, 6 charity shops, 1 bookmaker, 1 vape shop, 1 bank on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 3 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 22.6 per 100,000 people, 6.6x the typical town's 3.4
- 2 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.5 per 10,000 people, 6% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 1 public swimming pool open Better: 0.8 per 10,000 people, 14% higher than the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 8.03pm last bus out on a Wednesday, and none on a Sunday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.7% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 40% higher than the typical town's 0.5%
- 31.4% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 2x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,463 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Cheshire East council
- £2,455 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £63 more than the English average
- 17% of Cheshire East council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 6% higher than England's 16%
- 33 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Knutsford against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.