Crap Towns / Cheshire / Nantwich
Nantwich
28/100Crap Score
707th crappest of 984 towns, and 12th in Cheshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Moaning about cow muck in the country
Timber-framed, posh and desperate for you to know it's nothing like Crewe.
Nantwich is a posh old salt town with timber-framed buildings and an outdoor brine pool, and it'll describe itself as near Crewe, only nicer. Fair. Not one kitchen in town is rated 0 to 2 on hygiene, and the Dabbers will mention that too.
But the rush hour is gridlock, there's nowhere to park and someone always parks on the Oat Market bend. More than a quarter of premises can't get gigabit broadband, the last bus out on a Wednesday goes at 9.48pm, and the Sunday buses run at about an eighth of the typical town's. Locals want country life, then moan about cow muck on the road.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Nantwich's 96 for broadband means it's crapper than 96% of towns.
- Broadband96/10028.3% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 16.3% across the Cheshire East council area
- Sewage spills73/100672 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Rain67/100140 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Serious road collisions47/1002.3 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Fly-tipping43/10010.0 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Cheshire East council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Anti-social behaviour29/1007.9 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Air pollution26/1006.4 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.1 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Criminal damage and arson22/1005.1 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Food hygiene4/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 109 food businesses with a rating
- Deliberate fires0/1000.9 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 8 | Runcorn | 39 |
| 9 | Middlewich | 39 |
| 10 | Congleton | 33 |
| 11 | Sandbach | 31 |
| 12 | Nantwich | 28 |
| 13 | Neston | 28 |
| 14 | Alsager | 22 |
| 15 | Lymm | 21 |
| 16 | Wilmslow | 21 |
Nantwich by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 75.4 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 76.2
- 20 problems reported on FixMyStreet in the year to October 2026 Better: 10.7 per 10,000 people, 48% lower than the typical town's 20.4
- 2 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2023
What's left on the high street
- 17 pubs, 25 hairdressers, 6 charity shops, 3 banks on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (0 of 14) Better: Against the typical town's 4.0%
- 2 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 10.7 per 100,000 people, 3.1x the typical town's 3.4
- 4 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.1 per 10,000 people, 31% higher than the typical town's 1.6
- 3 public swimming pools open Better: 1.6 per 10,000 people, 2.3x the typical English town's 0.7
- 1 place on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 9.48pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.4% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 2.8x the typical town's 0.5%
- 15.0% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space About the same: About the same as the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,497 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Cheshire East council
- £2,455 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £63 more than the English average
- 17% of Cheshire East council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 6% higher than England's 16%
- 33 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Nantwich against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.