Crap Towns / Cheshire / Middlewich
Middlewich
39/100Crap Score
597th crappest of 984 towns, and 9th in Cheshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Stuck in traffic since the Romans.
No station, a grim shopping street and a bypass that's been promised for ever.
Middlewich has been making salt since the Romans and promising a bypass for nearly as long. Every rush hour is horrendous, and any trouble on the M6 sends the lorries straight through town. The narrowboats get through quicker than you.
There's no passenger station, the shopping street is grim and the leisure centre's shut, so there's no public pool either. On a Sunday the buses run at barely a sixth of the typical town's. The Folk and Boat Festival comes once a year. The rest of the year it's salt.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Middlewich's 72 for rain means it's crapper than 72% of towns.
- Rain72/100147 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Food hygiene62/1003.9% rated 0 to 2, of the 51 food businesses with a rating
- Broadband60/1006.5% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 16.3% across the Cheshire East council area
- Serious road collisions49/1002.4 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Sewage spills49/100262 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Air pollution48/1008.4 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.4 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Fly-tipping43/10010.0 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Cheshire East council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Criminal damage and arson34/1005.9 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires32/1004.4 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Anti-social behaviour17/1006.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 5 | Chester | 49 |
| 6 | Ellesmere Port | 49 |
| 7 | Warrington | 40 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.8 | Runcorn | 39 |
| 9 | Middlewich | 39 |
| 10 | Congleton | 33 |
| 11 | Sandbach | 31 |
| 12 | Nantwich | 28 |
| 13 | Neston | 28 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Middlewich by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 66.6 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 13% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 9 problems reported on FixMyStreet in the year to October 2026 Better: 6.2 per 10,000 people, 70% lower than the typical town's 20.4
- 2 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2024
What's left on the high street
- 9 pubs, 10 hairdressers, 2 charity shops, 1 bookmaker, 1 vape shop, 1 bank on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 10.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (1 of 10) Worse: 2.5x the typical town's 4.0%
- 2 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.4 per 10,000 people, 13% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
- 2 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.24pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.5% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 0.5%
- 2.1% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 86% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,482 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Cheshire East council
- £2,455 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £63 more than the English average
- 17% of Cheshire East council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 6% higher than England's 16%
- 33 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Middlewich against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.