Crap Towns / Cheshire / Chester
Chester
49/100Crap Score
Wrexham fans call it Jester Pity.
500th crappest of 984 towns, and 5th in Cheshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Chester? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Race day? Run.
Lovely old city. On race day it's sick, piss and fascinators.
Chester has Roman walls, the Rows and a racecourse slap in the middle of the city. Most days it's lovely. On race days it fills with drunks in posh clobber spewing in the street and pissing in doorways, and the locals stay in. Public order offences run at nearly twice the typical town's rate, and you can guess which days.
Then there are the kitchens. The share of food places given 0 to 2 for hygiene is one and a half times the typical town's, in a city that lives off tourists eating out. Wrexham thinks Chester's stuck up. Wrexham's right.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Chester's 80 for broadband means it's crapper than 80% of towns.
- Broadband80/10015.1% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 11.7% across the Cheshire West and Chester council area
- Food hygiene76/1003.6% rated 0 to 2, of the 747 food businesses with a rating
- Rain59/100133 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Sewage spills53/100310 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2024 to 2025
- Serious road collisions48/1002.4 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour47/10010.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Criminal damage and arson45/1006.7 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Air pollution41/1008.3 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.1 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Fly-tipping34/1008.3 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Cheshire West and Chester council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Deliberate fires15/1003.2 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Crewe | 70 |
| 2 | Northwich | 69 |
| 3 | Widnes | 63 |
| 4 | Winsford | 52 |
| 5 | Chester | 49 |
| 6 | Ellesmere Port | 49 |
| 7 | Warrington | 40 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.8 | Runcorn | 39 |
| 9 | Middlewich | 39 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Chester by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 95.4 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 25% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 11 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 1.2 per 10,000 people, 65% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 2 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2019
What's left on the high street
- 84 pubs, 78 hairdressers, 22 charity shops, 10 bookmakers, 6 vape shops, 16 banks, 3 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 3.3% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (3 of 90) Better: 18% lower than the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Better: 1.1 per 100,000 people, 68% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 14 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.5 per 10,000 people, 6% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 12 public swimming pools open Better: 1.3 per 10,000 people, 1.9x the typical English town's 0.7
- 2 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.17am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 2.2x the typical town's 0.5%
- 10.2% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 34% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,474 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Cheshire West and Chester council
- £2,517 Band D council tax (2026-27) Worse: £125 more than the English average
- 6% of Cheshire West and Chester council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 63% lower than England's 16%
- 16 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Chester against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.