Crap Towns / Staffordshire / Great Wyrley and Cheslyn Hay
Great Wyrley and Cheslyn Hay
25/100Crap Score
Cheslyn Hay used to be called Wyrley Bonk.
742nd crappest of 984 towns, and 7th in Staffordshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
That speed hump owes us an exhaust
Old pit villages that turned out fine. The worst thing here is a speed hump.
Great Wyrley and Cheslyn Hay used to dig coal and make roof tiles, and now they're quiet commuter villages near Cannock. Crime's low. The biggest moan is the speed hump on Tower View that rips the bottom off cars, and new houses filling up the gap between the villages.
So they drink. There are 18 pubs between the two villages, more than twice the typical town's rate per head, and not much park to stagger home through: a third of people live a fair walk from one. The streams have had a rougher time, with 7 serious pollution incidents since 2016, 3 of them major and some of them crude sewage. Some idiot sets fire to the odd wheelie bin. That's the lot.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Great Wyrley and Cheslyn Hay's 78 for air pollution means it's crapper than 78% of towns.
- Air pollution78/1009.6 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.5 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Rain64/100136 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Deliberate fires60/1007.0 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Food hygiene59/1003.5% rated 0 to 2, of the 58 food businesses with a rating
- Fly-tipping59/10011.0 incidents per 1,000 people a year, South Staffordshire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Broadband51/1004.5% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 16.4% across the South Staffordshire council area
- Sewage spills50/100277 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Serious road collisions6/1001.0 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson6/1003.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Anti-social behaviour1/1005.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 3 | Kidsgrove | 39 |
| 4 | Newcastle-under-Lyme | 38 |
| 5 | Leek | 30 |
| 6 | Codsall | 26 |
| 7 | Great Wyrley and Cheslyn Hay | 25 |
| 8 | Biddulph | 24 |
| 9 | Stafford | 22 |
| 10 | Wombourne | 17 |
| 11 | Uttoxeter | 16 |
Great Wyrley and Cheslyn Hay by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 51.8 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 32% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 2 reports of fly-tipping on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 About the same: 1.1 per 10,000 people, about the same as the typical town's 1.1
- 7 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2025
What's left on the high street
- 18 pubs, 8 hairdressers, 1 charity shop on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 7.1% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (1 of 14) Worse: 1.8x the typical town's 4.0%
- 2 public swimming pools open Better: 1.1 per 10,000 people, 1.6x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 10.38pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- Under 0.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: Far lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 32.7% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 2.1x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,421 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 7% lower than the typical town's 1,532
South Staffordshire council
- £2,314 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £78 less than the English average
- 10% of Staffordshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 38% lower than England's 16%
- None ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Great Wyrley and Cheslyn Hay against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.