Crap Towns / Staffordshire / Newcastle-under-Lyme
Newcastle-under-Lyme
38/100Crap Score
People from here are Not-pots.
606th crappest of 984 towns, and 4th in Staffordshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Newcastle-under-Lyme? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Newcastle. Not that one. It stinks.
It's not Stoke and it's not that Newcastle. It does smell of landfill.
Newcastle-under-Lyme spends its life explaining it's not the big Newcastle and it's not Stoke either. Locals call themselves Not-pots, which says it all. Then the wind changes, the landfill stink rolls into the town centre, and nobody wants to talk about anything else.
It's not just moaning. There have been 76 serious pollution incidents recorded in or near Castle since 2016, and landfill odour turned up in 66 of them. It pisses down on 150 days a year and that doesn't shift it either. It's a decent old market town with a theatre in the round. Depending on the weather, you can smell it from the car park.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Newcastle-under-Lyme's 80 for deliberate fires means it's crapper than 80% of towns.
- Deliberate fires80/10012.9 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Rain74/100150 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Air pollution63/1009.6 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.9 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Broadband61/1006.8% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 16.1% across the Newcastle-under-Lyme council area
- Anti-social behaviour54/10015.8 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Food hygiene46/1002.3% rated 0 to 2, of the 474 food businesses with a rating
- Criminal damage and arson46/1006.7 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Sewage spills41/100190 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Fly-tipping32/1006.7 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Newcastle-under-Lyme council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Serious road collisions6/1001.1 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Stoke-on-Trent | 85 |
| 2 | Burton upon Trent | 60 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.3 | Kidsgrove | 39 |
| 4 | Newcastle-under-Lyme | 38 |
| 5 | Leek | 30 |
| 6 | Codsall | 26 |
| 7 | Great Wyrley and Cheslyn Hay | 25 |
| 8 | Biddulph | 24 |
| 9 | Stafford | 22 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Newcastle-under-Lyme by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 79.5 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 76.2
- 11 reports of litter and bins on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 1.4 per 10,000 people, 1.6x the typical town's 0.9
- 76 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2025
What's left on the high street
- 53 pubs, 28 hairdressers, 10 charity shops, 6 bookmakers, 5 vape shops, 8 banks, 2 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 5.9% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (5 of 85) Worse: 48% higher than the typical town's 4.0%
- 3 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 3.9 per 100,000 people, 15% higher than the typical town's 3.4
- 14 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 1.8 per 10,000 people, 13% higher than the typical town's 1.6
- 6 public swimming pools open; 2 closed for good since 2010 Better: 0.8 per 10,000 people, 14% higher than the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.25am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.4% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 20% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 12.0% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 23% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,416 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 8% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Newcastle-under-Lyme council
- £2,334 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £58 less than the English average
- 10% of Staffordshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 38% lower than England's 16%
- 1 ombudsman complaint upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Newcastle-under-Lyme against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.