Crap Towns / Staffordshire / Burton upon Trent
Burton upon Trent
60/100Crap Score
Locals are Burtonians.
394th crappest of 984 towns, and 2nd in Staffordshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Burton upon Trent? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Burton stinks of Marmite.
Beer, Marmite, and a stink of yeast that follows you home.
Burton makes beer and Marmite and the whole town stinks of both. Burtonians say you get used to it. You don't. The football team are the Brewers, obviously, and there are 43 pubs to keep the theme going.
For a town that makes its living from things people swallow, the kitchens are a disgrace. 38 of the 465 food places with a rating score 0 to 2, more than three times the typical town's share. You'll spend the whole visit sniffing and not eating.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Burton upon Trent's 96 for food hygiene means it's crapper than 96% of towns.
- Food hygiene96/1008.2% rated 0 to 2, of the 465 food businesses with a rating
- Broadband69/1008.2% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 17.5% across the East Staffordshire council area
- Deliberate fires64/1007.9 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Serious road collisions60/1002.7 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Air pollution57/1008.8 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.8 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Sewage spills50/100285 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Rain44/100125 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Criminal damage and arson42/1006.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping41/1009.6 incidents per 1,000 people a year, East Staffordshire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Anti-social behaviour28/10011.7 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Stoke-on-Trent | 85 |
| 2 | Burton upon Trent | 60 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.3 | Kidsgrove | 39 |
| 4 | Newcastle-under-Lyme | 38 |
| 5 | Leek | 30 |
| 6 | Codsall | 26 |
| 7 | Great Wyrley and Cheslyn Hay | 25 |
| 8 | Biddulph | 24 |
| 9 | Stafford | 22 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Burton upon Trent by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 87.0 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 14% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 26 reports of abandoned vehicles on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 3.4 per 10,000 people, 3.8x the typical town's 0.9
- 4 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2023
What's left on the high street
- 43 pubs, 25 hairdressers, 9 charity shops, 4 bookmakers, 1 vape shop, 10 banks, 2 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 6.9% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (4 of 58) Worse: 1.7x the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Better: 1.3 per 100,000 people, 62% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 11 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.4 per 10,000 people, 13% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 5 public swimming pools open About the same: 0.7 per 10,000 people, about the same as the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.18am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.3% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 40% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 22.7% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 46% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,486 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
East Staffordshire council
- £2,351 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £41 less than the English average
- 10% of Staffordshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 38% lower than England's 16%
- None ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Burton upon Trent against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.