Crap Towns / Staffordshire / Biddulph
Biddulph
24/100Crap Score
746th crappest of 984 towns, and 8th in Staffordshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Lovely flowers. How you getting home?
Flower displays all over town. No railway station, and the evening bus service barely lasts past tea.
Biddulph calls itself the Garden Town of Staffordshire and it's got the hanging baskets to prove it. Biddulph Grange is lovely, and the town's taken that as permission to bang on about flowers for ever. It's wet on 153 days a year, so at least nobody has to water them.
What it hasn't got is a railway station. The old line's a footpath now, which is bugger all use when you want a train. Midweek there's no bus after 7.57pm. So you drive, past the fields they want to build on. Nice flowers, though. Lovely flowers.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Biddulph's 77 for rain means it's crapper than 77% of towns.
- Rain77/100153 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Sewage spills69/100585 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Broadband67/1004.3% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 24.4% across the Staffordshire Moorlands council area
- Food hygiene66/1004.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 76 food businesses with a rating
- Criminal damage and arson48/1006.9 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Air pollution34/1006.8 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.4 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Deliberate fires34/1004.7 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Anti-social behaviour28/10011.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions9/1001.1 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Fly-tipping5/1003.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Staffordshire Moorlands council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 4 | Newcastle-under-Lyme | 38 |
| 5 | Leek | 30 |
| 6 | Codsall | 26 |
| 7 | Great Wyrley and Cheslyn Hay | 25 |
| 8 | Biddulph | 24 |
| 9 | Stafford | 22 |
| 10 | Wombourne | 17 |
| 11 | Uttoxeter | 16 |
| 12 | Tamworth | 15 |
Biddulph by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 58.6 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 23% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 3 problems reported on FixMyStreet in the year to October 2026 Better: 1.7 per 10,000 people, 92% lower than the typical town's 20.4
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2020
What's left on the high street
- 11 pubs, 8 hairdressers, 2 charity shops, 1 vape shop, 2 banks on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 7.7% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (1 of 13) Worse: 1.9x the typical town's 4.0%
- 3 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 1.7 per 10,000 people, 6% higher than the typical town's 1.6
- 1 public swimming pool open Worse: 0.6 per 10,000 people, 14% lower than the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 7.57pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.7% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 40% higher than the typical town's 0.5%
- 12.5% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 19% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,420 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 7% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Staffordshire Moorlands council
- £2,338 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £54 less than the English average
- 10% of Staffordshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 38% lower than England's 16%
- None ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Biddulph against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.