Crap Towns / Staffordshire / Kidsgrove
Kidsgrove
39/100Crap Score
601st crappest of 984 towns, and 3rd in Staffordshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Kidsgrove? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
The Boggart's got the right idea.
A haunted canal tunnel, knackered shops and street drinkers on the benches.
Kidsgrove's got a canal tunnel with a ghost in it, the Boggart, who never comes out. Can't blame it. Up top the shops are empty or knackered, the benches belong to the street drinkers and the e-scooters use the pavement like a road. The rain turns up on 145 days a year, which gives the Boggart another reason to stay put.
The takeaways scoring 0 to 2 on hygiene come in at 5.6 times the typical town's share. The bins get torched as well, and the fire brigade gets called to deliberate fires at 2.9 times the typical town's rate, rising. The vape shops are doing fine.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Kidsgrove's 85 for deliberate fires means it's crapper than 85% of towns.
- Deliberate fires85/10016.4 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Food hygiene82/1006.5% rated 0 to 2, of the 77 food businesses with a rating
- Sewage spills70/100617 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Rain70/100145 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Air pollution48/1008.1 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.6 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Broadband37/1001.6% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 16.1% across the Newcastle-under-Lyme council area
- Fly-tipping32/1006.7 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Newcastle-under-Lyme council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Criminal damage and arson31/1005.7 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Anti-social behaviour28/10011.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions7/1001.0 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Stoke-on-Trent | 85 |
| 2 | Burton upon Trent | 60 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.3 | Kidsgrove | 39 |
| 4 | Newcastle-under-Lyme | 38 |
| 5 | Leek | 30 |
| 6 | Codsall | 26 |
| 7 | Great Wyrley and Cheslyn Hay | 25 |
| 8 | Biddulph | 24 |
| 9 | Stafford | 22 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Kidsgrove by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
What's left on the high street
- 10 pubs, 13 hairdressers, 2 charity shops, 2 bookmakers, 2 vape shops, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 22.2% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (4 of 18) Worse: 5.6x the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Worse: 6.4 per 100,000 people, 1.9x the typical town's 3.4
- 5 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 3.2 per 10,000 people, 2x the typical town's 1.6
- 1 public swimming pool open; 1 closed for good since 2010 Worse: 0.6 per 10,000 people, 14% lower than the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.31pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.2% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 60% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 14.2% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 8% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,437 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 6% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Newcastle-under-Lyme council
- £2,334 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £58 less than the English average
- 10% of Staffordshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 38% lower than England's 16%
- 1 ombudsman complaint upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Kidsgrove against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.