Crap Towns / Staffordshire / Stafford
Stafford
22/100Crap Score
People from here are Staffordians.
764th crappest of 984 towns, and 9th in Staffordshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Stafford? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
M&S has left the building.
A castle, a timber house and a north end full of empty shops.
Stafford got called Little London once. You'd have a job selling that now. The indoor market's gone, M&S packed up and moved out of town, and the north end of the high street is To Let signs. The whole town centre is on the Heritage at Risk register, which is the first time anybody official has agreed with the locals.
Somebody in Stafford is nicking bikes at more than three times the typical town's rate, and the e-scooters that don't get nicked go down the pavement. The bins get set on fire. A fake mayor once had people fooled online, and it was the most excitement the place has had in years. Regeneration's coming. Any day now.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Stafford's 68 for deliberate fires means it's crapper than 68% of towns.
- Deliberate fires68/1008.5 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Food hygiene64/1003.1% rated 0 to 2, of the 356 food businesses with a rating
- Rain63/100136 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Broadband61/1006.9% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 15.7% across the Stafford council area
- Criminal damage and arson52/1007.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Air pollution45/1007.6 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.7 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Anti-social behaviour43/10014.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Sewage spills21/10045.0 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Serious road collisions15/1001.5 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Fly-tipping4/1003.6 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Stafford council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 5 | Leek | 30 |
| 6 | Codsall | 26 |
| 7 | Great Wyrley and Cheslyn Hay | 25 |
| 8 | Biddulph | 24 |
| 9 | Stafford | 22 |
| 10 | Wombourne | 17 |
| 11 | Uttoxeter | 16 |
| 12 | Tamworth | 15 |
| 13 | Cheadle | 14 |
Stafford by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 85.7 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 12% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 3 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 0.4 per 10,000 people, 88% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 9 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2026
What's left on the high street
- 36 pubs, 14 hairdressers, 7 charity shops, 4 bookmakers, 1 vape shop, 8 banks, 3 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 9.1% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (5 of 55) Worse: 2.3x the typical town's 4.0%
- 3 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 4.2 per 100,000 people, 24% higher than the typical town's 3.4
- 19 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.7 per 10,000 people, 1.7x the typical town's 1.6
- 3 public swimming pools open; 1 closed for good since 2010 Worse: 0.4 per 10,000 people, 43% lower than the typical English town's 0.7
- 1 place on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 10.50pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.2% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 2.4x the typical town's 0.5%
- 15.2% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space About the same: About the same as the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,432 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 7% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Stafford council
- £2,303 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £89 less than the English average
- 10% of Staffordshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 38% lower than England's 16%
- None ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Stafford against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.