Crap Towns / Staffordshire / Penkridge
Penkridge
24/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 24. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Market day or nothing.
A big outdoor market, a canal, some pubs, and not one bus on a Sunday.
Penkridge has a busy outdoor market, a canal, a viaduct and a railway station, and it'll correct you if you call it a town. It's a village. A village with a market charter and its own station, but a village, and the sooner you accept it the sooner they'll serve you.
Being a village means village broadband. 3.1% of homes and businesses are stuck without superfast, 6.2 times the typical town's share, and some can't get the legal minimum. It also means village buses: in the evening barely any, and on a Sunday none at all. Nightlife is the pub, then another pub. Some knobhead keeps setting fire to the wheelie bins, which is about as lively as it gets.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Penkridge's 78 for broadband means it's crapper than 78% of towns.
- Broadband78/10012.0% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 16.4% across the South Staffordshire council area
- Deliberate fires60/1007.0 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Fly-tipping58/10011.0 incidents per 1,000 people a year, South Staffordshire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Rain53/100129 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Food hygiene53/1003.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 33 food businesses with a rating
- Air pollution51/1008.0 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.8 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Serious road collisions27/1001.7 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson15/1004.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Sewage spills14/10018.7 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour10/1008.1 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 5 | Leek | 30 |
| 6 | Codsall | 26 |
| 7 | Great Wyrley and Cheslyn Hay | 25 |
| 8 | Biddulph | 24 |
| – | Penkridge | 24 |
| 9 | Stafford | 22 |
| 10 | Wombourne | 17 |
| 11 | Uttoxeter | 16 |
| 12 | Tamworth | 15 |
Penkridge by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 50.6 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 34% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 1 reports of fly-tipping on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 1.2 per 10,000 people, 9% higher than the typical town's 1.1
What's left on the high street
- 7 pubs, 7 hairdressers, 1 charity shop, 1 bookmaker, 1 bank on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 2 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.4 per 10,000 people, 1.5x the typical town's 1.6
- 1 public swimming pool open; 1 closed for good since 2010 Better: 1.2 per 10,000 people, 1.7x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.13pm last bus out on a Wednesday, and none on a Sunday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 3.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 6.2x the typical town's 0.5%
- 43.3% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 2.8x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,426 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 7% lower than the typical town's 1,532
South Staffordshire council
- £2,314 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £78 less than the English average
- 10% of Staffordshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 38% lower than England's 16%
- None ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Penkridge against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.