Crap Towns / Greater Manchester / Gatley
Gatley
40/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 40. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Gatley, pleased as punch with itself.
Gatley's carnival's lovely and so's the green. The jets out of the airport keep it humble, just about.
Gatley's the sort of place with a carnival committee and a nature reserve called the Carrs, and it's quietly pleased about both. Then a jet comes over low enough to read the tail, Kingsway backs up again and some idiot goes up Styal Road like it's Silverstone.
Between the planes and the motorway, the air is 1.6 times the typical town's for nitrogen dioxide, and the overflows round Gatley dump sewage for four times the typical town's hours. There are 2 public pools, three times the typical town's rate per head, and 10 hairdressers, so everyone's well scrubbed for the carnival.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Gatley's 87 for air pollution means it's crapper than 87% of towns.
- Air pollution87/10013.2 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.4 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Sewage spills85/1001,121 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Rain79/100155 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Fly-tipping60/10011.1 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Stockport council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Criminal damage and arson43/1006.6 per 1,000 people a year, July 2023 to June 2026
- Anti-social behaviour33/10012.5 per 1,000 people a year, July 2023 to June 2026
- Serious road collisions29/1001.8 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Food hygiene19/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 53 food businesses with a rating
- Broadband16/1002.9% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 5.1% across the Stockport council area
- Deliberate fires9/1001.9 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 59 | Standish | 49 |
| 60 | Hale | 43 |
| 61 | Romiley | 42 |
| 62 | Urmston | 42 |
| – | Gatley | 40 |
| 63 | Sale | 40 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.64 | Bramhall | 38 |
| 65 | Altrincham | 31 |
| 66 | Cheadle Hulme | 30 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Gatley by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 72.0 crimes per 1,000 people a year (July 2023 to June 2026) Better: 6% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 2 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 2.2 per 10,000 people, 35% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2020
What's left on the high street
- 4 pubs, 10 hairdressers, 1 charity shop, 1 bookmaker on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (0 of 13) Better: Against the typical town's 4.0%
- 3 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 3.3 per 10,000 people, 2.1x the typical town's 1.6
- 2 public swimming pools open Better: 2.2 per 10,000 people, 3.1x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.46pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.2% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 60% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 17.6% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 14% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,403 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 8% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Stockport council
Have a crap-off
Gatley against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.