Crap Towns / Lincolnshire / Coningsby and Tattershall
Coningsby and Tattershall
48/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 48. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Coningsby and Tattershall? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
WHAT?
Fighter jets overhead, a castle down the road, and gigabit broadband for hardly anyone.
Coningsby's got an RAF base next door, so every few minutes a fighter jet rips the sky open and nobody can hear a bloody thing. The church clock only has an hour hand. Nobody's bothered about the minutes. Tattershall's got a castle and a moat, which makes it the posh end.
The most expensive kit in the country flies over every day, and only 16.8% of premises can get gigabit. Sewage goes in the water for nearly seven times the typical town's hours. The library shut in 2015, there's no pool, and the last bus goes at 8.20pm with nothing at all on a Sunday. That leaves the pubs, and there are plenty.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Coningsby and Tattershall's 100 for broadband means it's crapper than 100% of towns.
- Broadband100/10083.2% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 33.0% across the East Lindsey council area
- Sewage spills93/1001,879 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Serious road collisions65/1003.0 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Fly-tipping55/10010.4 incidents per 1,000 people a year, East Lindsey council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Anti-social behaviour53/10015.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Air pollution35/1005.9 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.9 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Food hygiene19/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 53 food businesses with a rating
- Deliberate fires15/1002.3 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Rain7/100112 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Criminal damage and arson2/1002.8 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 7 | Louth | 69 |
| 8 | Cleethorpes | 68 |
| 9 | Spalding | 64 |
| 10 | Grantham | 53 |
| – | Coningsby and Tattershall | 48 |
| 11 | Stamford | 46 |
| 12 | Sleaford | 45 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.13 | Humberston and New Waltham | 32 |
| 14 | Barton-upon-Humber | 32 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Coningsby and Tattershall by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 44.0 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 42% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 139 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 252 per 10,000 people, 74.1x the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 6 pubs, 5 hairdressers, 1 bank on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 library shut for good since 2010: Tattershall Coningsby (2015)
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) Better: 1.8 per 10,000 people, 13% higher than the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
- 2 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 8.20pm last bus out on a Wednesday, and none on a Sunday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.6% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 20% higher than the typical town's 0.5%
- 23.8% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 1.5x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,596 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
East Lindsey council
- £2,276 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £116 less than the English average
- 21% of Lincolnshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 31% higher than England's 16%
- 3 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Coningsby and Tattershall against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.