Crap Towns / Cambridgeshire / Cambourne
Cambourne
1/100Crap Score
978th crappest of 984 towns, and 12th in Cambridgeshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Cambourne? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Cambourne. Locals call it Toytown.
It was built from scratch and it looks like it. Every street is the same street.
Cambourne was built in a field for Cambridge commuters and it looks like a box of toy bricks. The streets go round in circles, the gardens are the size of a tablecloth, there's nowhere to park and nothing to do at night. They call it Crimebourne. Chance would be a fine thing.
There's 1 pub for the whole town, so a night out is that or the bus to Cambridge. They planned every cul-de-sac from scratch, and 117 homes still can't get the legal minimum broadband.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Cambourne's 52 for broadband means it's crapper than 52% of towns.
- Broadband52/1005.7% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 14.2% across the South Cambridgeshire council area
- Food hygiene37/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 18 food businesses with a rating
- Air pollution36/1005.6 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.0 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Deliberate fires21/100
- Anti-social behaviour17/1009.8 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping17/1005.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, South Cambridgeshire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Criminal damage and arson14/1004.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions9/1001.1 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Rain5/100111 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Sewage spills2/1000.0 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 4 | Cambridge | 63 |
| 5 | St Ives | 42 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.6 | Chatteris | 29 |
| 7 | March | 28 |
| 8 | Ely | 24 |
| 9 | St Neots | 18 |
| 10 | Whittlesey | 17 |
| 11 | Soham | 14 |
| 12 | Cambourne | 1 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Cambourne by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 50.7 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 33% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 2 reports of abandoned vehicles on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 1.8 per 10,000 people, 2x the typical town's 0.9
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2022
What's left on the high street
- 1 pub, 2 hairdressers, 1 charity shop, 1 bookmaker, 1 bank on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 3 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.7 per 10,000 people, 1.7x the typical town's 1.6
- 1 public swimming pool open Better: 0.9 per 10,000 people, 29% higher than the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.56pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 2.6% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 5.2x the typical town's 0.5%
- 13.4% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 14% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,554 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
South Cambridgeshire council
- £2,536 Band D council tax (2026-27) Worse: £144 more than the English average
- 7% of Cambridgeshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 56% lower than England's 16%
- 1 ombudsman complaint upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Cambourne against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.