Crap Towns / Cambridgeshire / St Ives
St Ives
42/100Crap Score
575th crappest of 984 towns, and 5th in Cambridgeshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
No, the other St Ives.
Not the one in Cornwall. There's no beach. There's a busway.
St Ives in Cambridgeshire spends its life telling people it's not the one in Cornwall. No beach, no surf, no sea. There's a lovely old bridge over the Ouse with a chapel stuck on the middle of it, and a guided busway to Cambridge with a car trap that drivers keep finding the hard way. Lots of charity shops.
It hardly ever rains, which is the one thing it's got over Cornwall. HSBC and Lloyds have both cleared off. Someone's nicking the bikes, and the takeaways' share of dodgy hygiene ratings is three times the typical town's too. Not that you'd know from the bridge.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
St Ives's 69 for food hygiene means it's crapper than 69% of towns.
- Food hygiene69/1003.9% rated 0 to 2, of the 104 food businesses with a rating
- Fly-tipping68/10014.4 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Huntingdonshire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Sewage spills59/100398 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Serious road collisions57/1002.6 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Air pollution55/1007.3 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.2 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Broadband37/1004.8% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 10.0% across the Huntingdonshire council area
- Anti-social behaviour31/10012.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Criminal damage and arson16/1004.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires13/100
- Rain3/100108 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Huntingdon | 79 |
| 2 | Wisbech | 78 |
| 3 | Peterborough | 70 |
| 4 | Cambridge | 63 |
| 5 | St Ives | 42 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.6 | Chatteris | 29 |
| 7 | March | 28 |
| 8 | Ely | 24 |
| 9 | St Neots | 18 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
St Ives by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 61.6 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 19% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 4 reports of litter and bins on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 2.4 per 10,000 people, 2.7x the typical town's 0.9
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2016
What's left on the high street
- 10 pubs, 8 hairdressers, 6 charity shops, 1 bookmaker, 1 vape shop, 1 bank, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 11.8% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (2 of 17) Worse: 3x the typical town's 4.0%
- 2 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 11.9 per 100,000 people, 3.5x the typical town's 3.4
- 7 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 4.2 per 10,000 people, 2.6x the typical town's 1.6
- 1 public swimming pool open Worse: 0.6 per 10,000 people, 14% lower than the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.39am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.2% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 60% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 8.3% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 46% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,579 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Huntingdonshire council
- £2,556 Band D council tax (2026-27) Worse: £164 more than the English average
- 7% of Cambridgeshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 56% lower than England's 16%
- 1 ombudsman complaint upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
St Ives against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.