Crap Towns / Cambridgeshire / St Neots
St Neots
18/100Crap Score
811th crappest of 984 towns, and 9th in Cambridgeshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
St Neots. Stuck at Black Cat.
St Neots has a nice river and a market square. Everyone's stuck in traffic at Black Cat.
St Neots has the Great Ouse, Riverside Park and a big old market square. All anyone outside the town knows about it is the Black Cat roundabout, and that's only because they were sat at it.
Try leaving without a car. On a Sunday the buses run at about a tenth of the typical town's rate, and after 7pm on a weekday there are 86 departures for the whole town. The banks have gone the same way: 6 branch closures since 2022, more than five times the typical town's rate. No bus to the bank, and soon no bank.
Fair play to the kitchens, mind. Not one of the 170 food businesses has a bad hygiene rating. Shame you can't get home after your tea.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
St Neots's 68 for fly-tipping means it's crapper than 68% of towns.
- Fly-tipping68/10014.4 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Huntingdonshire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Air pollution62/1007.7 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.3 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Criminal damage and arson50/1007.1 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Broadband46/1006.7% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 10.0% across the Huntingdonshire council area
- Anti-social behaviour38/10013.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions38/1002.1 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Deliberate fires14/100
- Sewage spills13/10014.9 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Rain6/100111 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Food hygiene1/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 170 food businesses with a rating
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 4 | Cambridge | 63 |
| 5 | St Ives | 42 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.6 | Chatteris | 29 |
| 7 | March | 28 |
| 8 | Ely | 24 |
| 9 | St Neots | 18 |
| 10 | Whittlesey | 17 |
| 11 | Soham | 14 |
| 12 | Cambourne | 1 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
St Neots by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 58.9 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 23% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 19 reports of litter and bins on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 5.7 per 10,000 people, 6.3x the typical town's 0.9
- 4 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2026
What's left on the high street
- 20 pubs, 4 hairdressers, 5 charity shops, 2 bookmakers, 2 vape shops, 2 banks, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (0 of 22) Better: Against the typical town's 4.0%
- 6 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 18.0 per 100,000 people, 5.3x the typical town's 3.4
- 4 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.2 per 10,000 people, 25% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 1 public swimming pool open Worse: 0.3 per 10,000 people, 57% lower than the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.05am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.4% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 20% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 7.9% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 49% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,582 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Huntingdonshire council
- £2,556 Band D council tax (2026-27) Worse: £164 more than the English average
- 7% of Cambridgeshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 56% lower than England's 16%
- 1 ombudsman complaint upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
St Neots against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.