Crap Towns / Cambridgeshire / Cambridge
Cambridge
63/100Crap Score
Oxford calls it the Other Place.
366th crappest of 984 towns, and 4th in Cambridgeshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Cambridge? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Get out of the bike lane.
Old colleges, punts, tourists stopping dead in front of you, and someone nicking your bike.
Cambridge is full of the cleverest people in the country and not one of them can stop your bike getting nicked. The centre is tourists standing still, students on bikes going like idiots and blokes flogging punt tours. Locals call it Silicon Fen and they're very pleased with that.
Put tourists who stop dead in front of students who don't brake and you get the serious crash rate, which is high. The Cam looks lovely from a punt, and the bathing water at Sheep's Green is rated Poor. All those brains and nobody's sorted that. Oxford's no better, mind.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Cambridge's 90 for serious road collisions means it's crapper than 90% of towns.
- Serious road collisions90/1004.0 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Air pollution72/1008.7 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.4 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Fly-tipping69/10014.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Cambridge council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Criminal damage and arson62/1008.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Anti-social behaviour60/10016.8 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Food hygiene59/1002.8% rated 0 to 2, of the 1,046 food businesses with a rating
- Broadband31/1005.7% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 5.3% across the Cambridge council area
- Deliberate fires27/100
- Sewage spills19/10038.7 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Rain1/100107 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Huntingdon | 79 |
| 2 | Wisbech | 78 |
| 3 | Peterborough | 70 |
| 4 | Cambridge | 63 |
| 5 | St Ives | 42 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.6 | Chatteris | 29 |
| 7 | March | 28 |
| 8 | Ely | 24 |
| 9 | St Neots | 18 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Cambridge by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 101 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 33% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 20 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 1.3 per 10,000 people, 62% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 6 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2025
- Poor Sheep's Green, River Cam's bathing water rating, 2025
What's left on the high street
- 79 pubs, 100 hairdressers, 27 charity shops, 11 bookmakers, 6 vape shops, 11 banks, 3 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 4.8% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (4 of 84) Worse: 20% higher than the typical town's 4.0%
- 6 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 3.9 per 100,000 people, 15% higher than the typical town's 3.4
- 48 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 3.1 per 10,000 people, 1.9x the typical town's 1.6
- 16 public swimming pools open; 2 closed for good since 2010 Better: 1.0 per 10,000 people, 43% higher than the typical English town's 0.7
- 2 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 1.01am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.2% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 2.4x the typical town's 0.5%
- 10.8% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 30% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,528 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Cambridge council
- £2,467 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £75 more than the English average
- 7% of Cambridgeshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 56% lower than England's 16%
- 2 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Cambridge against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.