Crap Towns / Cambridgeshire / Wisbech

Welcome to

Wisbech

Venice of the Fens. No.
Twinned with Venice, but not

78/100Crap Score

219th crappest of 984 towns, and 2nd in Cambridgeshire. Higher scores are crapper.

How the score works

Have your say

Crap Town of the Year 2026/27

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The public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.

Letters from the locals

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Wisbech. Wisbitch to some.

A handsome Georgian riverfront and a Market Place of empty shops, bookies and charity shops.

Wisbech calls itself the Capital of the Fens, which is pushing it, and the Venice of the Fens, which is taking the piss. The Georgian riverfront's nice. The Market Place is empty shops, bookies and charity shops, with the bookies at three times the typical town's rate per head, and the old buildings are falling apart.

The train's never come back. What's coming instead is an incinerator. The banks aren't hanging about to see it: four of the big ones have shut a branch since 2022, more than four times the typical town's rate.

Crime comes in at 1.6 times the typical town's rate, and more people get caught carrying weapons than you'd like. The serious crashes on the Fen roads come in at 1.7 times the typical town's, too.

What the score is made of

Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.

Wisbech's 90 for serious road collisions means it's crapper than 90% of towns.

  • Serious road collisions90/1004.1 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
  • Criminal damage and arson89/10011.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
  • Anti-social behaviour81/10022.1 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
  • Deliberate fires73/100
  • Food hygiene62/1003.2% rated 0 to 2, of the 189 food businesses with a rating
  • Fly-tipping58/10010.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Fenland council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
  • Broadband55/1007.7% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 11.5% across the Fenland council area
  • Air pollution54/1007.4 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.1 of fine particles, 2024 average
  • Sewage spills11/10010.0 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
  • Rain10/100114 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
Your patch: CambridgeshireTowns in the same county. Top of the table is crappest.
PosTownNationalScore
1Huntingdon206th79
2Wisbech219th78
3Peterborough292nd70
4Cambridge366th63
5St Ives575th42
In danger of becoming nice from here down.6Chatteris698th29
7March713th28
8Ely744th24
9St Neots811th18

Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.

Wisbech by numbers

Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.

Crime, muck and dodgy water

What's left on the high street

Getting about, getting online, getting rained on

Fenland council

Have a crap-off

Wisbech against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.

WisbechCrap Score 78
v
Long SuttonCrap Score 18

Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.