Crap Towns / Cambridgeshire / Godmanchester
Godmanchester
17/100Crap Score
Locals call it Goddy.
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 17. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Godmanchester? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Say it properly.
Nice bridge, nice river, nice meadows. And a row about how to say the name that never ends.
Godmanchester is a pretty little town on the Great Ouse with a wooden Chinese bridge and water meadows. There's not a lot wrong with it. Old locals call it Gumster and get annoyed when you don't, and everyone else gets annoyed when you do.
It barely rains, everyone lives within a short walk of a park, and the robbers don't bother. So the big excitement was October 2025, when crude sewage went into the water. Then it was back to arguing about the name, and looking down on Huntingdon over the bridge.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Godmanchester's 68 for fly-tipping means it's crapper than 68% of towns.
- Fly-tipping68/10014.4 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Huntingdonshire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Air pollution50/1006.8 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.1 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Deliberate fires39/100
- Broadband35/1004.3% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 10.0% across the Huntingdonshire council area
- Food hygiene35/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 21 food businesses with a rating
- Sewage spills34/100118 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour27/10011.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions23/1001.6 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson18/1004.8 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Rain0/100106 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 5 | St Ives | 42 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.6 | Chatteris | 29 |
| 7 | March | 28 |
| 8 | Ely | 24 |
| 9 | St Neots | 18 |
| 10 | Whittlesey | 17 |
| – | Godmanchester | 17 |
| 11 | Soham | 14 |
| 12 | Cambourne | 1 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Godmanchester by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 53.0 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 30% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 1 reports of litter and bins on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 1.3 per 10,000 people, 44% higher than the typical town's 0.9
- 2 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2025
What's left on the high street
- 5 pubs, 4 hairdressers, 1 charity shop on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 2 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.6 per 10,000 people, 1.6x the typical town's 1.6
- 1 public swimming pool open Better: 1.3 per 10,000 people, 1.9x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.11am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.0% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 2x the typical town's 0.5%
- 0.0% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: Against the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,592 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Huntingdonshire council
- £2,556 Band D council tax (2026-27) Worse: £164 more than the English average
- 7% of Cambridgeshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 56% lower than England's 16%
- 1 ombudsman complaint upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Godmanchester against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.