Crap Towns / Cambridgeshire / Longstanton and Northstowe
Longstanton and Northstowe
12/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 12. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
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Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Northstowe. Where's the town?
They built loads of houses and forgot the shops. Longstanton's next door, wondering.
Northstowe is a new town on an old airfield next to Longstanton, and so far it's mostly houses. The shops, the doctors and anywhere to go for a pint are coming soon, and have been for years. The streets all look the same. There's a guided busway into Cambridge, which is where you go to buy anything.
What it has got is play spaces, 5.1 times the typical town per head, and 1 pub. So the kids are sorted and the parents aren't. The yobs have found it too: anti-social behaviour hit 29.4 per 1,000 people in the year to August 2026, up from 20.9 two years before.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Longstanton and Northstowe's 79 for anti-social behaviour means it's crapper than 79% of towns.
- Anti-social behaviour79/10021.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Criminal damage and arson67/1008.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Food hygiene40/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 12 food businesses with a rating
- Air pollution34/1005.5 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.0 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Broadband32/1001.7% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 14.2% across the South Cambridgeshire council area
- Deliberate fires31/100
- Fly-tipping17/1005.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, South Cambridgeshire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Serious road collisions9/1000.8 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Sewage spills2/1000.0 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Rain1/100106 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 5 | St Ives | 42 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.6 | Chatteris | 29 |
| 7 | March | 28 |
| 8 | Ely | 24 |
| 9 | St Neots | 18 |
| 10 | Whittlesey | 17 |
| 11 | Soham | 14 |
| – | Longstanton and Northstowe | 12 |
| 12 | Cambourne | 1 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Longstanton and Northstowe by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 68.9 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 10% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 1 reports of fly-tipping on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 1.9 per 10,000 people, 1.7x the typical town's 1.1
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2018
What's left on the high street
- 1 pub, 1 hairdresser on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) Better: 1.9 per 10,000 people, 19% higher than the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.14am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.9% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 1.8x the typical town's 0.5%
- 7.9% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 49% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,549 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
South Cambridgeshire council
- £2,536 Band D council tax (2026-27) Worse: £144 more than the English average
- 7% of Cambridgeshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 56% lower than England's 16%
- 1 ombudsman complaint upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Longstanton and Northstowe against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.