Crap Towns / Wiltshire / Bradford-on-Avon
Bradford-on-Avon
24/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 24. Higher scores are crapper.
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Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
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Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Pretty bridge. Wing mirror in the ribs.
Very pretty. Very old. Very narrow, and there's a lorry coming.
Bradford on Avon is a lovely old wool town with a medieval bridge, which is the problem. Every lorry in Wiltshire wants to drive over it, and every tourist wants to stand on it taking pictures. The Gudgeons squeeze past both and get clipped by a wing mirror. There are nearly three times the typical town's pubs per head, which helps with the bruises. Nothing else is wrong with it, which is annoying.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Bradford-on-Avon's 93 for broadband means it's crapper than 93% of towns.
- Broadband93/10021.5% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 23.1% across the Wiltshire council area
- Sewage spills75/100728 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Rain59/100133 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Food hygiene40/1001.7% rated 0 to 2, of the 58 food businesses with a rating
- Serious road collisions39/1002.1 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour24/10010.9 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping21/1005.5 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Wiltshire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Criminal damage and arson20/1004.9 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Air pollution19/1005.3 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.9 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Deliberate fires2/1001.1 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 5 | Trowbridge | 41 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.6 | Warminster | 30 |
| 7 | Chippenham | 29 |
| 8 | Calne | 24 |
| – | Bradford-on-Avon | 24 |
| 9 | Westbury | 24 |
| 10 | Stratton St Margaret | 22 |
| 11 | Amesbury | 20 |
| 12 | Royal Wootton Bassett | 16 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Bradford-on-Avon by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 45.5 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 40% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 1 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 1.0 per 10,000 people, 71% lower than the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 14 pubs, 5 hairdressers, 2 charity shops, 1 bookmaker, 1 bank on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 5 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 5.1 per 10,000 people, 3.2x the typical town's 1.6
- 2 public swimming pools open Better: 2.0 per 10,000 people, 2.9x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.20am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.3% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 40% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 14.7% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 5% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,621 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 6% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Wiltshire council
Have a crap-off
Bradford-on-Avon against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.