Crap Towns / Lincolnshire / Bracebridge Heath
Bracebridge Heath
4/100Crap Score
People from here are Yellowbellies.
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 4. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
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Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Very little to complain about. Sadly.
Nice enough village up the hill from Lincoln. The only crime is the parking.
Bracebridge Heath is annoyingly decent. They tested aircraft and patched up bombers here once. Now nobody smashes anything, crime's under half the typical town's, and not one storm overflow nearby spilled from 2023 to 2025. Even the drains are well behaved.
So the only real crime is the parking: cars on junctions, cars blocking the buses, cars on Lichfield Road where they really shouldn't be. Then they build another estate and bring more cars. The water tower's nice, if you can see it past them.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Bracebridge Heath's 50 for air pollution means it's crapper than 50% of towns.
- Air pollution50/1006.0 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.3 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Broadband42/1002.2% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 17.1% across the North Kesteven council area
- Food hygiene35/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 20 food businesses with a rating
- Serious road collisions32/1001.8 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Fly-tipping32/1008.0 incidents per 1,000 people a year, North Kesteven council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Deliberate fires25/1003.5 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Anti-social behaviour23/10010.8 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Rain19/100117 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Criminal damage and arson4/1003.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Sewage spills2/1000.0 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 9 | Spalding | 64 |
| 10 | Grantham | 53 |
| 11 | Stamford | 46 |
| 12 | Sleaford | 45 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.13 | Humberston and New Waltham | 32 |
| 14 | Barton-upon-Humber | 32 |
| 15 | Bourne | 15 |
| 16 | North Hykeham | 13 |
| – | Bracebridge Heath | 4 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Bracebridge Heath by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 35.3 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 54% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 52 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 89.8 per 10,000 people, 26.4x the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 3 pubs, 1 hairdresser on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 2.46am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.0% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: Against the typical town's 0.5%
- 18.3% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 18% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,615 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 5% higher than the typical town's 1,532
North Kesteven council
- £2,338 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £54 less than the English average
- 21% of Lincolnshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 31% higher than England's 16%
- None ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Bracebridge Heath against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.