Crap Towns / Hampshire / Botley
Botley
51/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 51. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Botley. Road closed. Again.
Nice market square with lorries going through it, and a bypass that took bloody forever.
Botley's got a market square, a river, a plum pudding named after it and plenty of pubs, twice the typical town's per head. Lovely. It also had a bypass that dragged on for years, with closures and diversions sending you round in circles. The traffic still comes through the middle.
And then there's the Hamble. Storm overflows round Botley spilled for 8.9 times as long as the typical town's, so it's a lovely river to look at from the pub. Don't go paddling.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Botley's 96 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 96% of towns.
- Sewage spills96/1002,443 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2024 to 2025
- Broadband73/10013.5% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 9.7% across the Eastleigh council area
- Deliberate fires65/1008.4 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Serious road collisions60/1002.8 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Food hygiene55/1003.6% rated 0 to 2, of the 28 food businesses with a rating
- Air pollution48/1009.0 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.2 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Anti-social behaviour43/10014.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Rain42/100124 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Criminal damage and arson22/1005.1 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping11/1004.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Eastleigh council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Southampton | 79 |
| – | Botley | 51 |
| 2 | Havant | 45 |
| 3 | Portsmouth | 44 |
| 4 | Ringwood | 41 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.5 | Basingstoke | 38 |
| 6 | New Milton | 32 |
| 7 | Eastleigh | 29 |
| 8 | Gosport | 28 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Botley by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 70.4 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 8% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 26 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 44.1 per 10,000 people, 13x the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 6 pubs, 4 hairdressers on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) Better: 1.7 per 10,000 people, 6% higher than the typical town's 1.6
- 1 public swimming pool open Better: 1.7 per 10,000 people, 2.4x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.32pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.0% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 2x the typical town's 0.5%
- 10.2% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space, and OS maps no public park here Better: 34% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,680 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 10% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Eastleigh council
- £2,342 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £50 less than the English average
- 8% of Hampshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 50% lower than England's 16%
- 1 ombudsman complaint upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Botley against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.