Crap Towns / Hampshire / Southampton
Southampton
79/100Crap Score
204th crappest of 984 towns, and the crappest in Hampshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Who's dug the road up this time?
Huge cruise ships sail off somewhere nice. Everyone else is stuck on the Itchen Bridge.
Southampton waves off cruise ships full of people going somewhere better. Everyone left behind gets the ship horns at night, roads dug up again and again, and a queue to get over the Itchen. Portsmouth fans call them Scummers. Steady on. They're still arguing about whether the 1976 Cup winner was offside.
The fly-tippers are the real locals. The council logged 12,208 dumps in a year, four times the typical council's rate, and most of it was on its own land. Crime comes in at 1.7 times the typical town's, and the banks keep shutting branches. The cruise passengers don't even get off.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Southampton's 96 for fly-tipping means it's crapper than 96% of towns.
- Fly-tipping96/10043.7 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Southampton council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Serious road collisions89/1003.9 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson79/1009.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Food hygiene71/1003.3% rated 0 to 2, of the 1,347 food businesses with a rating
- Air pollution65/10011.7 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.5 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Deliberate fires64/1007.9 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Anti-social behaviour40/10013.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Sewage spills33/100115 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2024 to 2025
- Rain33/100121 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Broadband11/1003.0% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 3.0% across the Southampton council area
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Southampton | 79 |
| 2 | Havant | 45 |
| 3 | Portsmouth | 44 |
| 4 | Ringwood | 41 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.5 | Basingstoke | 38 |
| 6 | New Milton | 32 |
| 7 | Eastleigh | 29 |
| 8 | Gosport | 28 |
| 9 | Totton | 28 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Southampton by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 126 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 1.7x the typical town's 76.2
- 41 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 1.6 per 10,000 people, 53% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 15 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2026
What's left on the high street
- 103 pubs, 148 hairdressers, 36 charity shops, 25 bookmakers, 18 vape shops, 21 banks, 8 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 4.8% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (10 of 208) Worse: 20% higher than the typical town's 4.0%
- 9 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 3.6 per 100,000 people, 6% higher than the typical town's 3.4
- 34 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.4 per 10,000 people, 13% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 15 public swimming pools open; 7 closed for good since 2010 Worse: 0.6 per 10,000 people, 14% lower than the typical English town's 0.7
- 4 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- All night buses on a Wednesday Better: The typical town's last bus goes at 12.14am
- 1.3% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 2.6x the typical town's 0.5%
- 14.4% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 7% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,674 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 9% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Southampton council
- £2,381 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £11 less than the English average
- 16% of Southampton council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) About the same: About the same as England's 16%
- 10 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Southampton against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.