Crap Towns / Hampshire / Basingstoke
Basingstoke
38/100Crap Score
Known as Basingrad. Also Blazingstoke.
614th crappest of 984 towns, and 5th in Hampshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Basingstoke? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
No, the other roundabout
Roundabouts, a ring road and a town centre you could swap with anywhere.
Basingstoke is a load of roundabouts with houses in between. Locals call it Doughnut City and Boringstoke, and they're not being nice. Brighton Hill roundabout has lanes nobody follows. The town centre's the same shops as everywhere else and there's nowhere to sit. Amazingstoke? Only ever said sarcastically.
It was blown up to twice the size for London overspill, and London's never asked for it back. There are 6 Greggs, 1.7 times the typical town's per head, and 56 parks to eat the sausage roll in. Just not in the town centre.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Basingstoke's 79 for broadband means it's crapper than 79% of towns.
- Broadband79/10011.0% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 19.5% across the Basingstoke and Deane council area
- Fly-tipping69/10014.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Basingstoke and Deane council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Food hygiene49/1002.4% rated 0 to 2, of the 460 food businesses with a rating
- Criminal damage and arson48/1006.9 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Air pollution48/1008.1 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.5 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Rain43/100125 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Deliberate fires36/1005.0 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Serious road collisions33/1002.0 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour29/10011.8 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Sewage spills19/10039.3 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Southampton | 79 |
| 2 | Havant | 45 |
| 3 | Portsmouth | 44 |
| 4 | Ringwood | 41 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.5 | Basingstoke | 38 |
| 6 | New Milton | 32 |
| 7 | Eastleigh | 29 |
| 8 | Gosport | 28 |
| 9 | Totton | 28 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Basingstoke by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 80.0 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 76.2
- 337 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 28.8 per 10,000 people, 8.5x the typical town's 3.4
- 9 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2026
What's left on the high street
- 30 pubs, 23 hairdressers, 14 charity shops, 5 bookmakers, 1 vape shop, 10 banks, 6 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 4.4% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (2 of 45) Worse: 10% higher than the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Better: 0.9 per 100,000 people, 74% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 14 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.2 per 10,000 people, 25% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 12 public swimming pools open Better: 1.0 per 10,000 people, 43% higher than the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.09am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.7% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 40% higher than the typical town's 0.5%
- 3.1% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 80% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,639 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 7% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Basingstoke and Deane council
- £2,255 Band D council tax (2026-27) Better: £137 less than the English average
- 8% of Hampshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 50% lower than England's 16%
- None ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Basingstoke against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.