Crap Towns / South Lanarkshire / Bothwell
Bothwell
42/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 42. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Bothwell. Lovely. Smells.
A castle over the Clyde, a conservation area and more hairdressers than it knows what to do with. Then the sewage.
Bothwell is the posh bit of Lanarkshire and would like you to notice. There's a castle over the Clyde and a conservation area, and nearly three times the typical town's hairdressers per head, so nobody's hair is ever out of place.
The sewage spoils it. The overflows round the village spill over fourteen times the typical town's hours per head. For all the money, more than a quarter of premises can't get gigabit broadband either. Posh and honking.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Bothwell's 99 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 99% of towns.
- Sewage spills99/1003,930 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2025
- Broadband94/10028.7% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 10.7% across the South Lanarkshire council area
- Rain84/100161 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Food hygiene56/1006.7% told to improve, of the 30 food businesses inspected
- Fly-tipping50/100
- Air pollution39/1009.2 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.5 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Deliberate fires39/10015.5 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Anti-social behaviour16/1004.9 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Criminal damage and arson15/1004.5 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Serious road collisions14/1000.9 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Hamilton | 95 |
| 2 | Rutherglen | 88 |
| 3 | Blantyre | 85 |
| 4 | Larkhall | 82 |
| 5 | Cambuslang | 62 |
| 6 | East Kilbride | 59 |
| 7 | Carluke | 52 |
| – | Bothwell | 42 |
Bothwell by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
What's left on the high street
- 3 pubs, 9 hairdressers, 1 charity shop on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 2 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.9 per 10,000 people, 1.8x the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.04am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.8% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 1.6x the typical town's 0.5%
- 12.6% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 19% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,328 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 13% lower than the typical town's 1,532
South Lanarkshire council
- £1,468 Band D council tax (2026-27) Better: £185 less than the Scottish average
- 33% of South Lanarkshire council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 8% lower than Scotland's 36%
- 87 ombudsman complaints decided in 2025-26, none upheld Better: 26.6 per 100,000 residents, 23% lower than Scotland's 34.7
- 94.0% of the streets checked passed as clean (2025-26) About the same: About the same as Scotland's 92.2%
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Bothwell against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.