Crap Towns / South Lanarkshire / Rutherglen
Rutherglen
88/100Crap Score
It's Ruglen to the locals, who are Ruglonians.
120th crappest of 984 towns, and 2nd in South Lanarkshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Rutherglen. Don't call it Glasgow.
A royal burgh older than Glasgow, and it'll tell you so, usually over the noise on Main Street.
Rutherglen was a royal burgh when Glasgow was a few huts by the river, and Ruglonians have never let it go. Call it part of Glasgow and you'll get the full history, Landemer Day and all. The Main Street's wide enough to drive cattle down, which is what it was built for. These days it's bookies, more than three times the typical town's Greggs per head and smashed bottles on a Saturday.
Serious crashes come in at nearly twice the typical Scottish town's rate. Anti-social behaviour is 1.6 times and climbing, and a fifth of the takeaways inspected were told to improve. Being older than Glasgow doesn't get you much.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Rutherglen's 96 for serious road collisions means it's crapper than 96% of towns.
- Serious road collisions96/1003.0 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Rain92/100170 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Anti-social behaviour84/10012.8 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Food hygiene83/10010.7% told to improve, of the 225 food businesses inspected
- Criminal damage and arson64/1008.1 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Deliberate fires57/10024.3 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Sewage spills52/100292 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2025
- Fly-tipping50/100
- Air pollution37/1009.2 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.2 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Broadband21/1001.4% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 10.7% across the South Lanarkshire council area
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Hamilton | 95 |
| 2 | Rutherglen | 88 |
| 3 | Blantyre | 85 |
| 4 | Larkhall | 82 |
| 5 | Cambuslang | 62 |
| 6 | East Kilbride | 59 |
| 7 | Carluke | 52 |
Rutherglen by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 59.2 crimes per 1,000 people a year (January 2023 to December 2025) Worse: 9% higher than the typical Scottish town's 54.4
- 3 problems reported on FixMyStreet in the year to October 2026 Better: 1.0 per 10,000 people, 95% lower than the typical Scottish town's 20.1
What's left on the high street
- 7 pubs, 8 hairdressers, 3 charity shops, 5 bookmakers, 1 vape shop, 7 banks, 3 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 20.5% of takeaways inspected told to improve (8 of 39) Worse: 2.3x the typical Scottish town's 9.1%
- 2 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 6.4 per 100,000 people, 1.9x the typical town's 3.4
- 2 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 0.6 per 10,000 people, 63% lower than the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.38am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 80% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 9.6% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 38% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,337 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 13% lower than the typical town's 1,532
South Lanarkshire council
- £1,468 Band D council tax (2026-27) Better: £185 less than the Scottish average
- 33% of South Lanarkshire council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 8% lower than Scotland's 36%
- 87 ombudsman complaints decided in 2025-26, none upheld Better: 26.6 per 100,000 residents, 23% lower than Scotland's 34.7
- 94.0% of the streets checked passed as clean (2025-26) About the same: About the same as Scotland's 92.2%
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Rutherglen against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.