Crap Towns / North Yorkshire / Yarm
Yarm
26/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 26. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Bars, cobbles, gridlock.
Wide Georgian High Street, a big viaduct, plenty of bars and nowhere to put the car.
Yarm is a posh little town on the Tees with a wide Georgian High Street full of bars and restaurants and a huge railway viaduct over the top. It's annoyingly nice. The traffic crawls, there's nowhere to park and the cobbles will have your ankle. Call it North Ingleby Barwick and watch the Yarmites go.
The sewers nearby overflow for nearly nine times as long as the typical town's, so the Tees under that lovely viaduct is full of shit. Barclays has gone, the swimming pool's shut, and the last bus is at 9.32pm, which for a town full of bars is a bold choice. It's got four and a half times the typical town's public toilets per head, mind. They've thought about the bars.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Yarm's 96 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 96% of towns.
- Sewage spills96/1002,432 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Broadband65/10011.7% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 8.0% across the Stockton-on-Tees council area
- Deliberate fires59/1006.8 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Fly-tipping57/10010.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Stockton-on-Tees council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Rain36/100122 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Anti-social behaviour34/10012.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Air pollution19/1006.3 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.4 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Food hygiene14/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 62 food businesses with a rating
- Criminal damage and arson12/1004.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions4/1000.8 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 11 | Selby | 51 |
| 12 | Huntington | 46 |
| 13 | Haxby | 40 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.14 | Catterick Garrison | 31 |
| – | Yarm | 26 |
| 15 | Knaresborough | 25 |
| 16 | Harrogate | 16 |
| 17 | Ripon | 15 |
| 18 | Ingleby Barwick | 8 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Yarm by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 108 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 42% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 7 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 7.3 per 10,000 people, 2.1x the typical town's 3.4
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2023
What's left on the high street
- 7 pubs, 12 hairdressers, 5 charity shops, 2 banks on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Worse: 10.4 per 100,000 people, 3.1x the typical town's 3.4
- 7 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 7.3 per 10,000 people, 4.6x the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open; 1 closed for good since 2010 Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 9.32pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.7% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 40% higher than the typical town's 0.5%
- 9.1% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 41% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,442 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 6% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Stockton-on-Tees council
- £2,590 Band D council tax (2026-27) Worse: £198 more than the English average
- 14% of Stockton-on-Tees council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 13% lower than England's 16%
- 7 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Yarm against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.