Crap Towns / Cambridgeshire / Waterbeach
Waterbeach
25/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 25. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
No beach.
It's called Waterbeach. It's in the Fens. There's no beach.
Waterbeach has no beach. It has an old army barracks, a lake the Royal Engineers dug for training, and an old airfield they're turning into a whole new town. The station's being moved further away and the new houses cost a fortune.
No beach and no public pool. There is water: the latest serious pollution incident round here put crude sewage in it. Everyone lives within 400 metres of a park or play space. The new town's brochure will mention that. It won't mention the sewage.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Waterbeach's 64 for serious road collisions means it's crapper than 64% of towns.
- Serious road collisions64/1003.0 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Food hygiene55/1003.6% rated 0 to 2, of the 28 food businesses with a rating
- Sewage spills52/100300 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Broadband47/1004.7% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 14.2% across the South Cambridgeshire council area
- Criminal damage and arson44/1006.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Air pollution44/1006.2 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.1 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Anti-social behaviour23/10010.7 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires21/100
- Fly-tipping17/1005.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, South Cambridgeshire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Rain6/100111 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 4 | Cambridge | 63 |
| 5 | St Ives | 42 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.6 | Chatteris | 29 |
| 7 | March | 28 |
| – | Waterbeach | 25 |
| 8 | Ely | 24 |
| 9 | St Neots | 18 |
| 10 | Whittlesey | 17 |
| 11 | Soham | 14 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Waterbeach by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 48.2 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 37% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 1 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 1.9 per 10,000 people, 44% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 5 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2025
What's left on the high street
- 3 pubs, 2 hairdressers on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.55pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.0% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: Against the typical town's 0.5%
- 0.0% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: Against the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,545 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
South Cambridgeshire council
- £2,536 Band D council tax (2026-27) Worse: £144 more than the English average
- 7% of Cambridgeshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 56% lower than England's 16%
- 1 ombudsman complaint upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Waterbeach against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.