Crap Towns / Merseyside / Wallasey
Wallasey
86/100Crap Score
Scousers call them Wools.
143rd crappest of 984 towns, and 6th in Merseyside. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Wallasey? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Scouse or not? Make your mind up.
New Brighton prom, a fort, a lighthouse, and campervans in every seafront space.
Wallasey has New Brighton, the prom, Fort Perch Rock and the ferry to Liverpool. Liverpool calls them Wools and Plastic Scousers, and Wallasey's never decided if it's Scouse or not. The seafront parking is full of campervans that don't move.
Neither does anything else after tea. On a weeknight the last bus pulls out at 7.08pm and there's none at all on a Sunday. On a weeknight, 10 buses leave after seven for the whole of Wallasey. The storm drains chuck out sewage for more than three times as long as the typical town's, and somehow the sea's still rated Good. Nice view of Liverpool.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Wallasey's 82 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 82% of towns.
- Sewage spills82/100935 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Deliberate fires81/10013.5 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Serious road collisions79/1003.3 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Food hygiene78/1003.9% rated 0 to 2, of the 457 food businesses with a rating
- Fly-tipping73/10015.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Wirral council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Rain69/100143 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Criminal damage and arson60/1007.8 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Anti-social behaviour49/10010.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Air pollution46/1009.1 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.1 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Broadband16/1003.7% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 3.6% across the Wirral council area
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 2 | Birkenhead | 96 |
| 3 | Bootle | 92 |
| 4 | St Helens | 90 |
| 5 | Kirkby | 86 |
| 6 | Wallasey | 86 |
| 7 | Prescot | 83 |
| 8 | Huyton with Roby | 78 |
| 9 | Newton-le-Willows | 66 |
| 10 | Haydock | 63 |
Wallasey by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 71.5 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 6% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 5 reports of abandoned vehicles on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 0.6 per 10,000 people, 33% lower than the typical town's 0.9
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2018
- 0 of 3 bathing waters here or within 2 km rated Excellent in 2025
What's left on the high street
- 44 pubs, 42 hairdressers, 9 charity shops, 4 bookmakers, 2 vape shops, 6 banks, 3 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 5.9% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (6 of 101) Worse: 48% higher than the typical town's 4.0%
- 3 bank branch closures announced since 2022 About the same: 3.5 per 100,000 people, about the same as the typical town's 3.4
- 14 public toilets on the map (October 2026) About the same: 1.6 per 10,000 people, about the same as the typical town's 1.6
- 4 public swimming pools open Worse: 0.5 per 10,000 people, 29% lower than the typical English town's 0.7
- 5 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 7.08pm last bus out on a Wednesday, and none on a Sunday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.2% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 60% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 21.6% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 39% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,537 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Wirral council
- £2,501 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £109 more than the English average
- 11% of Wirral council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 31% lower than England's 16%
- 24 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Wallasey against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.