Crap Towns / Merseyside / St Helens
St Helens
90/100Crap Score
Locals say Sintellins.
103rd crappest of 984 towns, and 4th in Merseyside. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Shut, mostly
Glassmaking town where the shop windows are easy to see through, because there's nothing in them.
St Helens made glass and coal and plays rugby league. Locals are Woollybacks, and they're not from Liverpool, so don't you dare. The town centre's empty shops and roads shut for regeneration, so everyone goes to the retail parks.
Something gets set alight six times as often as in the typical town, and the bins go up more than ten times as often. Drug offences run at nearly four times the typical town's rate, and three libraries have gone. Wigan calls them Woollybacks and worse. St Helens calls Wigan pie-eaters. Nobody's backing down.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
St Helens's 96 for deliberate fires means it's crapper than 96% of towns.
- Deliberate fires96/10034.2 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Food hygiene91/1005.6% rated 0 to 2, of the 604 food businesses with a rating
- Rain81/100157 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Serious road collisions81/1003.4 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson79/1009.8 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Air pollution69/10011.2 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.8 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Fly-tipping66/10011.5 incidents per 1,000 people a year, St. Helens council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Anti-social behaviour64/10011.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Sewage spills43/100208 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Broadband6/1002.2% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 3.1% across the St. Helens council area
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Liverpool | 98 |
| 2 | Birkenhead | 96 |
| 3 | Bootle | 92 |
| 4 | St Helens | 90 |
| 5 | Kirkby | 86 |
| 6 | Wallasey | 86 |
| 7 | Prescot | 83 |
| 8 | Huyton with Roby | 78 |
| 9 | Newton-le-Willows | 66 |
St Helens by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 109 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 43% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 5 reports of abandoned vehicles on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 0.5 per 10,000 people, 44% lower than the typical town's 0.9
- 4 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2019
What's left on the high street
- 57 pubs, 71 hairdressers, 10 charity shops, 10 bookmakers, 9 vape shops, 8 banks, 3 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 10.8% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (13 of 120) Worse: 2.7x the typical town's 4.0%
- 2 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Better: 1.9 per 100,000 people, 44% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 3 libraries shut for good since 2010: Central Library (2017), Parr Library (2024) and Peter Street Library (2024)
- 10 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 0.9 per 10,000 people, 44% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 5 public swimming pools open; 3 closed for good since 2010 Worse: 0.5 per 10,000 people, 29% lower than the typical English town's 0.7
- 7 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 1.04am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.5% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 0.5%
- 18.3% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 18% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,454 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 5% lower than the typical town's 1,532
St. Helens council
- £2,403 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £11 more than the English average
- 13% of St. Helens council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 19% lower than England's 16%
- 3 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
St Helens against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.