Crap Towns / Merseyside / Kirkby
Kirkby
86/100Crap Score
140th crappest of 984 towns, and 5th in Merseyside. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Kirby? Kirkby. Learn to spell.
The council built a ski slope nobody could use. Then spelt the town wrong on the signs.
Kirkby went from village to new town in a hurry and has the cock-ups to show for it. They built a ski slope nobody ever got to ski on, back to front by some accounts, and the road signs keep spelling it Kirby. Liverpool FC train here, mind. They don't hang about after either.
The town centre's got 3 Greggs and 1 hairdresser, which tells you where the priorities lie. The fire brigade gets called out to a deliberate fire more than four times as often as in the typical town, and drug offences run at nearly four times the typical town's rate. The banks have announced two closures since 2022, and there are 2 public toilets for the whole place.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Kirkby's 93 for deliberate fires means it's crapper than 93% of towns.
- Deliberate fires93/10025.0 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Food hygiene91/1006.9% rated 0 to 2, of the 159 food businesses with a rating
- Criminal damage and arson83/10010.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Rain77/100153 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Fly-tipping72/10015.8 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Knowsley council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Air pollution67/10011.1 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.7 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Serious road collisions62/1002.7 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour59/10011.1 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Sewage spills44/100218 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Broadband14/1003.6% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 3.0% across the Knowsley council area
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Liverpool | 98 |
| 2 | Birkenhead | 96 |
| 3 | Bootle | 92 |
| 4 | St Helens | 90 |
| 5 | Kirkby | 86 |
| 6 | Wallasey | 86 |
| 7 | Prescot | 83 |
| 8 | Huyton with Roby | 78 |
| 9 | Newton-le-Willows | 66 |
Kirkby by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 88.8 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 17% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 6 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 1.3 per 10,000 people, 62% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 9 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2025
What's left on the high street
- 5 pubs, 1 hairdresser, 1 charity shop, 3 bookmakers, 1 bank, 3 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 7.1% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (2 of 28) Worse: 1.8x the typical town's 4.0%
- 2 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 4.4 per 100,000 people, 29% higher than the typical town's 3.4
- 2 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 0.4 per 10,000 people, 75% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 5 public swimming pools open Better: 1.1 per 10,000 people, 1.6x the typical English town's 0.7
- 1 place on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.42am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.3% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 40% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 15.7% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space About the same: About the same as the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,461 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Knowsley council
- £2,488 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £96 more than the English average
- 14% of Knowsley council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 13% lower than England's 16%
- 7 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Kirkby against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.