Racehorses move faster than this

Haydock has a famous racecourse and a roundabout by the M6 called Haydock Island that's jammed every day of the week. Race days are worse. They keep building warehouses, which means more lorries. Locals call the place Yick. Fair.

The fire brigade gets called out to a deliberate fire more than four times as often as in the typical town, mostly on the grass and in the woods. For a town with a racecourse there are 2 pubs, so the race crowds drink somewhere else and then sit on the Island trying to get back. There's one public park, and the overflows dump sewage for nearly four times the typical town's hours.

The editor, who missed the race